


Friends will Be Friends

by shynawkward



Series: Friends Will Be Friends [1]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: '39, And Deacury, Can be read as maylor, Finished, Friendship/Love, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Please read notes before each chapter, Rollercoaster of a fic, Sickfic, cause I love that song, drama queen, hurt Roger Taylor, no one dies, part one of a series, the fanfiction no one asked for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-08-26 14:36:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 26,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16683463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shynawkward/pseuds/shynawkward
Summary: *takes place in the 1970s during the tour in Japan.*Sometimes it's best to just admit and stop being selfless.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I apologise in advance for any kind of mistakes I made. This is the first time I am writing for the QUEEN fandom and I hope I won't disappoint anyone.  
> Please make sure to read the notes before each chapter.  
> Enjoy!

What was he even thinking?! Did he really think he could pull off a concert while being as sick as a dog?! Apparently yes. Two to three hours on the drums?! It isn’t like being the drummer is the easiest part in a band. And why was he lying when his bandmates asked him if he was okay?!  
"Damnit Roger, why do you always have to play cool and fine when you are obviously not?! Why do you always have to be so stubborn and thick-headed?!" Roger thought to himself as he followed his friends onto the stage.  
The concert hasn’t even started yet and already the air was sticky caused by the number of people sweating and screaming excitingly, waiting for the band to come on stage. The smoke of cigarettes seemed to be the only thing to breathe in there. "Bloody Hell, why couldn’t it be an open-air concert this time."  
Although Roger was a smoker himself and was actually used to this smell and the sticky air and even though he enjoyed to hear his and his bandmates’ names that filled the whole stadium, this time it just made him feel sick, not to mention that it didn’t help him with his awful headache as well.  
He really shouldn’t be here, but well, yet there he was forcing a smile as he was the last one to come on stage. Putting his right hand, in which he was holding his two drumsticks, in the air he greeted his fans with a slight nod before making his way to his drum-set. 

“You sure you are alright?” The drummer could hear Brian asking, who was currently fiddling with his guitar to get ready for the first song. “Was there ever a time when I wasn’t?!” Roger answered smugly, though it didn’t come out as believable as he wished it to be and he could immediately see his friend frowning. “I’m fine, mate. Just a headache.” Roger added, knowing his friend wouldn’t stop worrying, anyway. 

In fact, the whole band was worried about their drummer. Freddie was actually the first one to notice that something wasn’t quite right with their blond friend, but Roger just shrugged it off, saying he didn’t have a good sleep last night but nothing else. The second one to notice was John when entering the bathroom. He caught Taylor swiping his mouth with the end of his sleeve before washing his hands and face. Needless to say, that John knew exactly what was going on and what had happened but as expected also this time Roger just shrugged it off, saying he ate something wrong but would feel ´perfectly fine´ now. Brian was the last one who recognized that something was completely wrong with his friend. The guitarist noticed how Roger’s face got paler and paler with every second that past by and that he was sweating like hell and shaking exhaustingly at that matter and this even though they were still waiting in their tour-van to get called on stage, preparing for the show by going over every single song there were going to play. May noticed that Taylor didn’t really pay attention, just nodded every now and then, closing his eyes from time to time, too and by doing so he seemed to be quite dizzy as if he was about to collapse on the floor any minute. Brian had asked his friend the same question he asked him just a few minutes later on stage, but the drummer just nodded.  
As everyone was in their position and Brian, Freddie, as well as John, took one more look at their blond drummer, worrisome written all over their faces, the lights turned off and Freddie started playing the piano and filled the whole stadium with his beautiful voice. 

Song by song they played and to his friends‘ relief Roger did surprisingly well. They were almost certain that Roger really was okay like he had told them before the concert, good for the blond, though that he could hide behind his drum-set. If someone would have been able to see him back there would've definitely been able to say that they might have seen a ghost. Every movement he did, and as you may have noticed by being the drummer of a Rockband there are a lot of movements, hurt like hell. His limbs felt like stone, his head felt like a volcano that was about to explode every second and he had that awful urge to just throw up right there but obviously he couldn’t and no matter how desperately he just wanted to throw his drumsticks across the stage and walk off and lay down somewhere no one would be able to find him, he kept telling his stubborn mind to go on and it seemed like he was quite successful with pushing himself to his limits. It was when the band got ready to play ’39 that he started struggling just by walking to the front. Actually, ’39 was one of Roger’s favourite songs to play live because it finally gave him the opportunity to be in the front with Freddie, John, and Brian but today he was almost terrified of playing that song. 

Lucky for the drummer the crowd didn’t really notice the way he was sweating, shaking and the pale face that was drawn with pure exhaustion as well as pain. His friends, however, did notice.  
This time John was the one asking him if everything was okay. Roger wished to say no. He wished to just tell the others that he couldn’t continue anymore, that he couldn’t go on tonight but he also couldn’t do this to his fans, he couldn’t disappoint them, his fans who were right there, right in front of him. Screaming their names, dancing, singing and having a good time. This was one of the million reasons why he loved to be a musician, why he loved being a part of the band QUEEN, together with his best friends. He loved the way he could make people happy just by playing the songs he and his friends wrote. It made him feel good and he would never trade that. It was selfless and he knew that himself but his stubborn mind couldn’t give in and he soon would regret this.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your nice feedback. Means so much to me. I hope you will enjoy the second chapter as much.

“Hey, Rog?!” John, who stood to his right, asked once again, this time a bit louder since his blond friend next to him didn’t seem to have heard him. And it didn’t just seem like that, it really was like that. Roger’s mind was somewhere else but on stage and if you would have been able to ask him, he himself couldn’t tell you where it was. It was like as if he was in a trance. Everything around him seemed to move in slow motion, even the blinking of his eyes seemed to be quite slow. The blood in his veins was still pumping like crazy and so was his heart. The Volcano that was his head seemed to be on the edge of exploding now. It got harder and harder to breathe the sticky air that filled the stadium and the screaming of his fans didn’t do him any better in his current state. Oh, how he wished to just drop to the ground. 

“Roger?!” This time Brian asked him as he observed Deacy’s desperate attempts to get an answer out of Taylor. No reply. The sound of his friend’s voices sounded dull. Brian gave John a worried look before laying his hand on the blonde’s shoulder. “Roger? Mate? You okay?” Stupid question, Brian, as well as John, knew exactly that his friend wasn’t okay at all. 

“What’s wrong, Darling?” This question was derived from Freddie, who just got back from where his piano was located to take a sip from one of the few drinks that are placed on top of it a few seconds later. And just like Brian and John, Freddie didn’t get an answer but this time a nod. Well, that was at least something. 

“Damnit, you bloody idiot. Keep it together.” The drummer thought to himself as he turned his head back from Freddie, who stood on his left now and who seemed to be more worried than he had ever seen him before, to the crowd. "Yes, right. The crowd was still there. The crowd that got more and more impatient. Bloody hell." 

Of course, they had no idea what was going on, not to mention that they also have no idea what either of their favourite band members was saying.

He could hear some more concerned and alarmed words from his band-mates, though he had no idea what exactly they were saying. He thought he heard Brian saying something about a break and Deacy agreeing on it? Followed by Freddie's suggestion on even stopping the concert and going back to the place there were staying in Japan.  
“NO WAY!” The drummer thought.  
The words of his friends were still continuing, as Taylor suddenly started talking to the crowd, introducing them to the next song. 

All three remaining band members got quiet all of the sudden, looking at their thick-headed friend in disbelief. Brian shook his head, tense though. “Unbelievable.” He said to himself, but eventually gave in and started with the acoustic part of ’39, quickly followed by Roger’s part of the base drum and tambourine. Deacon just kept on looking concerned but went along. 

“I told you before, dear, don’t be a Drama Queen.” Roger heard Freddie whispering to him, before quickly moving over to Brian, starting to sing. 

 

“In the year of '39 assembled here the volunteers  
In the days when lands were few.”

 

The first one and a half minute of the song went by without any troubles.

 

“For the day I take your hand  
In the land that our grandchildren knew.”

 

Freddie finished the first verse and chores and was now waiting for Roger’s part after the chores and before the second verse. The one where he was supposed to hit those high notes and show everyone what he is capable of doing with his voice. Actually, one of Roger’s favourite things to do live. Not today, though. 

The beat got slower and the tambourine in his right hand stopped before he let it fall down to the ground. Obviously, the blond wasn’t in the position to hold the rhythm anymore and it was needless to say that he didn’t get a tone out either. It was too much. He couldn’t stay straight anymore, dizziness took over, he was shaking harder now than ever. It started out with black spots which appeared in the corner of his eyes first and was then soon followed by a complete blackness that managed to make the man completely blind as his body gave in. 

Lucky for Roger, Freddie was standing right next to him on his left as he broke down. Immediately, the singer let go of his microphone and only just managed to keep Roger’s head from hitting the ground. 

The people in the stadium exclaimed in shock, some even let out a cry. Obviously, the music stopped right away and without hesitation, John and Brian let go of their instruments and were rushing toward their friend. It was an awful scene to look at. Reporters immediately started taking pictures. Of course, they were. They would make a lot of money with a story like that and that’s all they could think about.  
Assholes.

At least the cameramen who were recording the whole concert stopped filming. 

“Roger!” Brian cried. His, Freddie's and John’s heart were pumping in fear for his friend. What was happening? Brian cursed under his breath as he desperately tried to talk to Roger, telling him to stay awake, while slapping his cheeks softly. John was terrified, never had he seen one of his best friends like that, he felt helpless. Roger was the one who studied biology and wanted to become a dentist he would have known what to do in a situation like that, John, on the other hand, studied electrical engineering, not exactly helpful in a situation like this one. So, he simply watched in shock, trying to think of something to help out with as Freddie rushed over to his piano, getting one of the cups of water which he then poured right over Taylor’s face in hope that this would make him wake up or would make him open his eyes at least. The three men held their breath for a second. It worked. 

Slowly, Roger opened his eyes, looking right into the three worried and fearful faces of his friends. He was confused and had no idea how he ended up on the ground, but he knew that something must have happened otherwise Brian, who was leaning above him, wouldn’t look so frightened. Though, he soon after noticed Brian’s relieved expression. As his eyes moved over from Brian to John and then to Freddie, he realized that actually each of them were looking a bit more relieved now than they had before. He started feeling the pain crawling back to him and everything around him started spinning again.

The blond let out a silent cry as his expression went from confusion to pain. This wasn’t good at all. As he kept looking around, trying to figure out how he ended up scaring his friends like that, he noticed the muffled sound of people screaming, exclaiming and crying in shock and then the flashlights of cameras in the distance.  
“Right. He was still in a stadium somewhere in Japan.” It was all coming back to him now. He has been sick, hasn’t he? Oh, wait, no. He still was sick. He couldn't be, though. He had drums to play on and fans to entertain, he couldn’t just lay here. With all the strength that was still left in him, which wasn’t a lot, to be honest, he tried to push his stubborn self up. Bad idea. This just made him even more sick and dizzier and he eventually found himself on all four throwing up the little bit that he had eaten before the concert.  
As he did so he felt the touch of someone helping him not to collapse on the floor straight away. The blonde quickly realized the one to be Brian. John was rushing to the other side of the stage to get some more water for his friend, whereas Freddie got up, making his way to all the reporters, which apparently couldn’t stop taking pictures, now pissed off and annoyed at them more than ever, screaming and ordering them to bloody stop and let them be.

The backstage crew reacted quite quickly too and as some of them were calling for an ambulance, as Roger didn’t seem to stop being sick, others followed Freddie helping him to get rid of the reporters. Of course, the crowd was still there, but there was no way that either of the band members could continue playing tonight. And so, this was what the staff members had told the QUEEN fans and to theirs, the crew’s and later the band’s surprise the crowd took it well. Sad and worried, of course but understanding. After all, they had seen what happened to their favourite blond drummer. So, the staff was now busy taking care of all the people that had filled the stadium. 

After what felt like ages to Roger, he stopped retching, not that there was coming out anything but stomach acid, anyway. Once again, he tried to push himself up on his feet but failed and collapsed into Brian’s arms whose hands were still holding and stabling him. The last thing he could hear was his friend’s voice calling out for him before he started struggling to breathe and out of this reason, he was losing consciousness again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was the second chapter. So sorry for every mistake I made. I'm trying.  
> Please let me know if you liked it or not and if you want me to continue.  
> Thank you all for your support!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have chapter 3! I really hope you enjoy this as much as the other two. Thanks again for reading and your amazing support. Especially for someone whose mother language isn't English, I'm so happy you like my writing!

“Somebody call the bloody ambulance!” Freddie, who was still busy being pissed at the reporters, heard someone of the crew members screaming followed by a reply in Japanese, which he obviously couldn’t understand. He immediately turned his head around to the place Roger was retching his guts out just seconds before, though now all he could see was Brian holding his blond friend’s moveless body in his arms and John next to him, looking almost as pale as Roger, desperate trying to wake him up again by doing the same thing Fred did minutes ago, but there was no reaction whatsoever. For a few seconds, Freddie just stood there, looking at his three friends. He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t move, all he could do was worrying and fearing for his friend as he eventually slowly walked toward him and the other two. Freddie knelt down right next to John, trying to give Brian a comforting smile and John a touch on his back, deep inside hoping that it would somehow help him calming down, but obviously, it didn’t. Though it was worth a try and even though Freddie didn’t know, it was appreciated by John.

However, they should have stopped the concert right away. Roger shouldn’t have gotten onto the stage in the first place. They all have seen that he was clearly sick. Why did they listen to Roger anyway, when he was saying that he was fine? They all knew how stubborn and thick-headed he was. Freddie clearly had seen Rog’s tired eyes, his exhausted expression when they first arrived backstage. Why did he believe him when he said that he just didn’t get enough sleep? And John, why didn’t he do anything or said more when he saw him coming out of that damn bathroom. So much for “I ate something wrong.” Stupid. Every bit as Brian who was the last one to notice but he could have stopped him from going on stage, couldn’t he? Or later when they were about to start with the first song and he had asked him again if he really was okay and he said yes. He should have known better. They all should have known better. There was no way that Roger wanted his friends to worry and to blame themselves for something that was clearly his own fault, yet here his friends were, worrying and blaming themselves for not acting quicker and sooner. Obviously, Roger didn’t know that and couldn’t do anything about it yet but he would find out soon enough.

It happened quite quickly that the Japanese ambulance arrived, though for Freddie, John, and Brian it felt like ages and during that time Brian swore to himself that on their next concerts they would make sure to always have medics backstage, just for safety reasons, like they already should have. Like every other Band has, but not Queen. Of course, not Queen. Queen is not like “Every other Band”. 

The medics, carefully but quickly, lifted Roger onto a stretcher and because Rog had troubles breathing and was still unconscious, they were using an oxygen mask to make it easier for him. And a minute after the medical practitioners were rushing down the stage, through the few people who were still there and toward the ambulance closely followed by John, Fred, and Brian.   
Arriving outside a big circle of people, mainly reporters, was formed around the Van, talking wildly and taking pictures. Thankfully though the security was there to take care of them. 

Clearly, it was impossible for all three men to accompany Roger in the ambulance, only one was allowed to do so. So, the three friends quickly and without hesitation decided that Brian should be the one staying with him as the other two would follow in a separate car. Some of the backstage crew were actually trying to talk the three men out of this by saying it would be better if they would rest before joining his friend. Nice try. As if they could rest without knowing what exactly was wrong with the blonde. Especially the fact that Roger barely got sick worried them immensely. He got sick on rare occasions and if he got sick it was just a cold, but nothing serious at all. Only Brian had seen him quite sick before, when they first were introduced in university and later founded ‘Smile’ together with Tim, and even this was barely anything like that, not to mention that Roger ever lost consciousness before just by being sick. This was a whole new level for all three of them.

Once the security took care of the reporters and of the rest of the crowd and once Brian quickly got into the back of the ambulance, still not taking his eyes of Roger, Freddie and John jumped in their tour van/bus, telling the driver to follow the ambulance. This was the first time John could literally feel Freddie’s concern. His friend always had this talent of making everyone in the band feel better in no time, to lift the foul mood, make them laugh even when they got into a fight and were about to kill each other. This made John think about the time at Rockfield Farm not too long ago, when they were debating whether to put Rog’s song “I’m in love with my car” on the B side of the record or not and him locking himself up in a cupboard waiting until Freddie would give in, which he did in the end. He smiled a bit thinking about it. This was Queen, this was the band he joined last and which became his family, he wouldn’t want it to be any different. And now one member of his family was sick and no one really had any idea how bad it was. His smile faded again and his mind wandered back to reality, back to the ambulance they were following. Freddie, on the other hand, was still lost in thought. He kept repeating the scene of Roger next to him falling to the ground and him only just been able to put his hands on the back side of his head so he wouldn’t hit the ground too hard. This scene will probably haunt him forever. It all happened so quickly.   
Suddenly they could hear the siren wailing of the ambulance in front of them and Fred, as well as John, jumped a bit in shock. It only had been the lights before but now this? The two men shared a scared look. What was that supposed to mean? What was happening?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I can only apologize for any mistakes I made. But I believe I am slowly getting there. Please let me know your thoughts about it!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 is finally here. Sorry, that it took me a bit longer to upload this time. I hope you all still enjoy. Also, a huge thanks to all the love and support I received from you. You have no idea how much this means to me. Thank you! <3

Brian was more than thankful for John and Freddie to have been okay with him joining Roger. They knew that Brian has known the blonde for much longer than they have and even though all four of them were as close as it was actually possible and had a strong friendship that will last forever, Brian knew Roger better than anyone else, just like Roger knew Brian that way. One could argue about the fact that they even knew each other better than their own parents. 

Brian can still remember when he pinned a notice on the noticeboard of the imperial college, the one he went to, which said that they were looking for a drummer and not too long after he met Roger. Apparently, Roger’s flatmate saw this specific note and didn’t hesitate on telling Roger about it. Thankfully. 

Both, Brian and Roger went through a lot throughout their college years, it shall be understood, that it wasn’t only good stuff they went through, both had their ups and downs, hard times, as well as good times but they survived with each other’s help. He remembered vividly when they were listening to one of their favourites tracks of the Beatles from 1967 ‘I get by with a little help of my friends’. He smiled.

Well, and now his best friend was laying in an ambulance bed right next to him somewhere in Japan and no one had any idea what was wrong with him and how bad it actually was. He was still standing next to Rog as the van started the engine and they finally started to move. Brian soon got shoved aside by one of the medics who obviously was talking in Japanese and pointed on a seat behind Brian, trying to tell him to sit down there, which he did. He wouldn’t be of any use by just standing around next to Roger not being able to do anything but to worry, anyway. 

There was a humidity and heat in that van that was almost unbearable and if Brian wasn’t so focused on what was happening to his blonde friend in front of him, he would probably have gotten sick himself. Fortunately, the medics weren’t oblivious and knew that Europeans, especially from the northern part of Europe, aren’t really used to the summer heat and humidity of Asia, so they offered him some water which he gladly accepted, though he still wasn’t able to talk so he just gave the woman a nod, thanking her that way as she smiled at him, nodding herself in reassurance.

He emptied the water bottle in almost one go, not really realising what was happening around him. If you would ask him what exactly they did to help his friend at that current moment, Brian wouldn’t be able to give you a straight answer. He was just focused on the moveless body in front of him. Roger still wasn’t awake and not able to breath himself, he still needed the oxygen mask, which didn’t surprise Brian at all, he himself had troubles breathing in that heat. 

They removed his shirt which was soaking wet from his own sweat, to have a better look at Rog’s upper body and softly were brushing his long blond hair out of the way, which at some places was stuck to his sweaty face and neck before they tried to cool him down and to break his fever by using ice water and a face flannel with which they gently dabbed on his forehead. 

This was all very new to Brian, first the fact that he was sitting in an ambulance in Japan, where the medical methods seemed a bit different than to what he was used to in the U.K. and of course, that it was his friend, a member of his family who got medical treatment. He desired nothing more than to help out somehow. He felt useless sitting there, just watching and not being able to do anything at all. He can barely imagine how his other two friends in the car behind him must feel. Probably as awful as him. 

Brian’s mind drifted off again as he looked down at his feet, remembering the times he had seen his blond friend sick and it made him worry even more when he realised that Roger in fact never really had gotten as sick as he was now. It scared him. The times he had seen him sick was when he woke up from a hangover in their flat after a night out, rushing to the bathroom and throwing up, but that wasn’t really sick. Like serious sick. He also had gotten a cold from time to time but once again this wasn’t serious and never to the point that he broke down and blacked out. Brian swallowed hard, as those thoughts and memories reminded him of the earlier happenings, which his brain replayed over and over again. The scene of Roger, after he had thrown up on stage, fainting and losing consciousness right in his arms. He could precisely see the moment Roger’s body gave in when his eyes rolled back into his head, it terrified him. 

When Brian looked up again, he got brought back to reality as he noticed the medics talking louder, faster and more heated. Of course, he still couldn’t understand a single word they were saying but he knew something was wrong, he had no idea what it was but he knew Roger must have gotten worse. Brian stood up from where he was sitting in shock as one of the medics told him to sit down again, or at least tried to tell him to sit down. He turned his head toward the front of the car as the sirens began to wail and them starting to drive faster and, at that moment, Brian could swear his heart dropped to the ground. He looked back to his friend, who was now surrounded by all three medics, he couldn’t see anything and he was wondering if this might have been for the best or not. 

Oh, please let him be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just like in the other three chapters I sincerely apologise for every single mistake I made. Also; I'm not a doctor whatsoever so I have no idea if this stretches the truth, so I apologise for that too. However, though, please let me know what you think!  
> Have a nice day, stay hydrated and safe. Love you all!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we have the fifth chapter. Please enjoy!  
> Also, I know I have said it before but once again thanks so much for your love and support on the previous chapters!♥

Focusing back on the ambulance who was driving faster now, both, Freddie and John suddenly felt sick to the bone. None of them needed to say a word, both knew what that meant, both knew that Roger’s condition must have gotten worse. The two men could barely imagine how Brian must feel now. They knew how close those two were.  
Trying not to think of the worst, Freddie remained in silence as John who seemed calm from the outside but was freaking out from the inside, leaned forward, telling their driver to please drive faster in order to stay close; after all, they had no idea where exactly they were going. Of course, it was a hospital but Tokyo was huge, there were probably a hundred, plus their driver was one of the members of the crew and also for him it was the first time in Tokyo, Japan. He promised to do his best but couldn’t particularly promise he would manage it in the end. 

With a big sigh full of desperation, he leaned back into the seat, taking a look at Freddie who seemed suddenly withdrawn into himself and looking straight forward, the lights of the ambulance reflecting in his eyes.  
“Do you think he will be okay?” Deacy managed to ask and there was a silence for a few seconds which seemed like hours. “I don’t know.” Was Freddie’s answer, not looking back at him. It came out quite cold and blunt and out of some reason, those words hurt John more than he expected. It wasn’t the way Freddie said those words, John knew Freddie wouldn’t want to hurt him on purpose, no, it was the fact that even Freddie; the Freddie Mercury, the one who managed to lighten up the mood in the worst of days, seemed to have no encouraging words left for him.

Ever since John had joined the Band, Freddie was the one John could turn to. It may sound strange and maybe it was because of the fact that Deacon joined the band last, but it felt like he was the baby of the group. Of course, everyone respected him and thought the world of him, everyone knew how talented he was and all three other men were more than happy to have him as a part of the band but even more to have him as a friend. A best friend. A family member. He was a calm and quiet man and seemed introverted but the Band knew him better, once the ice was broken you could have the best talks with him, joke with him and you’d know that your secrets were always safe with him, too.  
However, from the very start, Freddie always sort of felt responsible for him, not in a forced way, but in a gentle and caring way, like protecting him, making sure he was okay. That was something John appreciated more than anyone would ever think, it made him feel safe. One could say that Freddie’s and John’s friendship was just as strong and as close as Brian’s and Roger’s. Needless to say, though that all four men were pretty close, but it was still somehow a bit different. Special. All four were very different from each other in their own way but not even in a hundred years could they live without each other. A healthy and strong relationship and friendship that everyone was grateful for. 

Maybe this was why it hurt John so much to hear an answer like he just heard coming from Freddie. A simple ‘I don’t know’ except positive and comforting words like he is used to. It showed Deacy how much Mercury himself was worried for the blonde, but then again how should Fred know the answer to a question like that. No one knew if he would be okay or not. No one could tell at that point either. 

John turned his head to his left and was now looking out of the window, still tense and his heart rate still quite high. Another sigh escaped his lips. Well, maybe it’s time for John to take over Freddie’s part.  
“He will be alright.” John then said softly after a long break, answering his own question, nodding to himself but not moving his head, still looking into the early night. Though, those words made Freddie look over to his friend instead, a surprised expression in his face. “I mean, this is Roger Taylor we are speaking of, right?!” John let out a desperate laugh. “He is the most stubborn person I have ever met.” He continued, Freddie still looking at him. “I mean, that man even locked himself into a cupboard just so his song would make it on the B-site.” This made Freddie smile and a small chuckle escaped his lips, which caused John to look back to Freddie. “I must have been high or something to agree on joining and playing in a band with him.” Fred finally said, remembering everything vividly and John laughed a bit. They both stayed quiet after that until Freddie spoke up again. “You are right. Rog will be okay. That blond and blue-eyed man is too stubborn to not be okay.” John looked at him but said nothing, just nodded in agreement and smiled at Fred in a comforting way which Fred soon returned. 

The lead singer, as well as the bassist, turned their heads into the direction of the ambulance again. And even though they yet couldn’t stop worrying about their friend, both appreciated each other’s company more than anything. Freddie would probably never tell a soul but having John next to him at that exact moment gave him more comfort than anything else. Maybe he gave him even more comfort than his cats. (Well, that is debatable, but you know.) 

Anyway, after a couple more minutes and after a few more intersections and quick driving as well as their driver almost losing sight of the ambulance, they turned into a driveway. This must be the Hospital. So, it was indeed. Finally. About bloody time!  
Since they arrived a couple minutes later, the back door of the ambulance was already open and the medics already busy with getting a rollable sick-bed to transport Roger out of the ambulance and into the hospital. 

As soon as the car stopped, John and Freddie almost kind of jumped out of the car and hurried over to Brian, who stood aside only watching, while shaking his head slightly as if he still couldn’t believe what was happening in front of him. He felt awful and you could see it in his expression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hoped you liked this one. I said it before but here you have it again, sorry for any mistakes I made.  
> Please, also let me know your thoughts on this chapter. As you may have realised it's a bit more focused on John and Freddie because I thought in the fourth one I focused more on Roger's and Brian's relationship. Thanks again for your support. Stay safe y'all!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I am amazed by all you love and support on my story! I can't thank you enough. Here's the 6th chapter. Please enjoy and please mind mistakes.

“Brian!” Nothing. “Hey, darling!” Again nothing. “Come on, mate talk to us.” This time Brian finally reacted to the voices next to him, not saying anything though but at least he managed to turn his head away from where the medics heaved Roger onto the sick bed, not losing time to get him inside, into John’s and Fred’s direction who both were desperately trying to talk to him after they rushed over. He couldn’t answer them, he just wanted to follow the medics, making sure Roger was okay, but somehow, he couldn’t move nor could he speak. The shock was still too intense, so he stood still.

“Brian, darling, please. What happened? Something must have happened.” Freddie tried again, his voice more impatient now but still calm. “I-I have no idea.” Brian simply but finally said, his voice sounded like there were no emotions left in him, his expression, however, said something completely different. It was packed with feelings he himself couldn’t keep apart. It was a mixture out of pain, sadness, shock, fear, anger, blame and desperation. 

Freddie wanted to protest, wanted to ask what he had seen, wanted to ask what exactly caused that bloody ambulance to drive faster but he saw the way Brian looked back at them, the way his eyes were tear-filled and it made his heart drop on the ground as he took a step back away from Brian, shaking his head in disbelief. Needless to say, that also John noticed Brian’s sad look. He wanted to say something but seeing his friend like that, made him stop. Both men knew that Brian knew something they didn’t and it scared them to know he couldn’t talk about it. John was on the edge of tears now too but he still managed to put his hand on Brian’s shoulder in a comforting way but he knew not in hundred years this would help to make him feel better, it was appreciated by Brian, anyway. 

Fred watched as he, as the last one, couldn’t hold back his own tears anymore and pulled his other two friends into a hug. That group hug they did before almost every concert but one was missing and it hurt all three the same. “He will be alright.” Fred managed to say, but even for him, it was hard to believe at this moment.

They stayed like that for a few seconds, all lost in their own minds but worrying about the same thing, with a hundred million questions running through their heads. They got ripped back to reality as they heard a familiar voice and they turned their heads almost in sync into its direction.  
“He is in intensive care.” The man who turned out to be Jim “Miami” Beach said softly and careful, his own concern not going unnoticed. “All we can do now is waiting. Let’s get inside.” He added, smiling weakly, knowing very well that it wasn’t easy for either of them. 

They totally forgot that they were still standing outside of the Hospital and neither had they any idea when Miami had arrived but right now there had other things to worry about.  
Hearing those words, each of their hearts skipped a beat and they couldn’t do anything but to nod at him telling him they understood what he said without words.

Brian took a deep breath as he looked around one more time. The little bit of light in the early night sky that was to see when they left the stadium was completely gone now. It was a clear night sky, but totally unfitting for a night that was full of pain. 

Normally, Brian would enjoy a beautiful night sky like this one. That was when the astrophysicist in him came out and he wouldn’t stop looking up to the sky, talking about his knowledge, trying to explain the secrets of the universe. When Roger was with him during a night like this one, walking home after a concert or night out or something similar, he would often joke about Brian’s little habit; the habit of letting the doctor in him hang out but if he was honest, secretly Rog enjoyed it. He enjoyed the way Brian would get so enthusiastic and excited about it. He would never tell him that, of course, but it was adorable.  
Tonight, though was different. Tonight, everything seemed grim and lonely and the stars seemed to shine less.

However, they didn’t say a word as they followed Jim inside. Thankfully Miami took care of all the paperwork and everything that was needed to be filled out as well as the press outside the stadium after the boys had left in a rush. Neither Brian nor Fred or John were in the mood to deal with all this right now and let’s be honest, they couldn’t care any less about it. So, there were more than grateful for Jim’s commitment and help. They would thank him later. Right now, they just needed to wait for the Doctor who was responsible for Roger’s health from now on. 

The hospital was quiet. Not many people were there, probably because it was late, though it wondered the three men who were now sitting in the waiting room. Tokyo is a huge city with a huge number of people living there, why was it so empty and quiet here then?  
Every now and then there was a nurse either walking slow or rushing through the corridors or people speaking but if this wasn’t the case then it was so quiet that they could even hear the clock ticking. No one of the boys, not even Jim dared to say something. Everyone was in their own headspace, thinking of the worst. 

“Why does it take so damn long?!” Fred suddenly spoke up impatiently after a few more minutes, looking at the clock then back to his friends.  
“Maybe because you are only waiting for half an hour?!” That sentence came from Jim, chuckling weakly, trying to lighten up the mood a bit but quickly finding out he was failing when he looked into the other men’s faces. So, his expression turned straight back into the concerned and tired one he had before.  
“Yes, Darling, I know but they could at least tell us what’s wrong with him, can they not?!” He replied, looking impatiently into the direction of the intensive care before taking the coffee Jim got for him out of his hand, so did the other two, nodding to thank him. 

This was the first time that half an hour felt like years to every single one of them, including Miami, yes also he feared for the blonde despite him flying off the handle very easily. But to be honest, though, how can someone not grow fond of Roger Taylor!?

A few more minutes went by as suddenly a man walked toward them with a clipboard in his hands, reading each of their names.  
“Freddie Mercury, John Deacon, and Brian May?” He finished reading with an accent, looking from the board over to the boys. “And Jim Beach,” Jim said quietly to himself so no one could hear him.

Full of expectation, everyone was looking up to the man who turned out to be the Doctor responsible for Roger, waiting for him to say something about his condition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, you read right. I actually included Miami Beach into this story! Apart from that I really hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as the others. Thanks again.  
> Stay safe and love you all!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all thanks for all your wonderful comments and support! You guys have no idea how happy this makes me and second of all, I am very sorry for this chapter. There a mentions of death but no one actually dies, just as a prewarning. Hope you like it anyway. Enjoy.♥

“He what?!” Freddie asked the Doctor again, although he understood very well what he was saying, Fred just needed more information on Roger. John let out a long and loud sigh, leaning back into his seat and Brian covered his face with his hand, head dropping as he shook it slightly, not wanting to believe what he just heard. 

“Your friend is suffering from a rupture of the appendix, which is a break or tear in the appendix and usually due to appendicitis.” The Doctor repeated himself. There was a silence between the men that felt like it would last forever.  
"And what exactly does that mean?” Fred finally broke the silence. It almost sounded like he was pissed off. He just wanted an easy explanation. Of course, he knew that everything that had to do with the appendix was serious, but he wanted to know what exactly it meant in Roger’s case and of course how he was doing.

“The rupture can lead to a collection of infected pus or even worse, to an infection of the entire lining of the abdomen and the pelvis, we call it perforation of the appendix.” The Doctor answered and stopped for a few seconds, sighing and the boys, as well as Jim, shared looked full of fear before the man in front of him began again. “I’m afraid to tell you that in your Friend’s case it’s the latter. Therefore, an operation to remove his appendix is necessary. It can take about 12 hours or more. Actually, it’s essential to remove the appendix after 24 to 72 hours after the symptoms begin. Mr. Taylor must have suffered from those symptoms a bit longer than the said amount of time and since he came in that late it allowed the infection to get worse and the already mentioned break in his appendix developed, causing the contents to leak out into the rest of the abdomen. Abdominal swelling already eventuated. It is very likely that we are going to face some serious complications throughout the process of removing it.” He let out a sigh himself, feeling bad for the four men that were sitting in front of him, taking in the horrid information all at once. “We promise you, we are doing everything we can to help your friend. Right now, he is giving us a hard time to get his temperature down as well and it also seems like he suffers from a slight concussion, too, probably from the fall on stage, like Mr. Beach here, described earlier.” There was a short break again and the Doctor looked as if he couldn’t dare to continue. “I’m required to tell you that a delaying treatment such as this cannot only lead to serious complications but also death. I am sorry.” He finished, giving the men a sympatric look and a nod as he turned around to give them their space and alone time to think and to process the giving information. 

And as if all those information weren’t bad enough already, the mentioning of the word ‘death’ in coherence with Roger made John burst into tears and also Freddie and Brian couldn’t hold back theirs anymore, even Jim was on the edge of crying, but, as the nice guy he was, didn’t hesitate on standing up from where he was sitting, leaving the three friends to be, thinking it would be best to give them time for themselves. A kind gesture.

They couldn’t believe this. They wouldn’t want to believe this. Roger, their best friend, a part of their family could have died right in front of their eyes if they would have waited longer; - if it would have taken longer. Obviously, this was a thought the three friends never wanted to think of, ever, and now it was actually happening. Their friend was dying and they didn’t notice.

It made sense now as to why the ambulance drove faster once, they removed Roger’s shirt and after they took a closer look at his upper body. The abdominal swelling. Also, Brian had seen it, with his own two eyes. The image came back to him now. It looked awful, needless to say, that he had never seen something like this before. He thought he had seen something that wasn’t actually there due to the frantic movements of the medics around the blonde. But his eyes didn't fail him.  
Now that he was thinking of it, he noticed the lack of appetite Roger had the last couple of days and so did Freddie and John. The blonde may not look like it but, bloody hell, that man could eat. Why didn’t they worry about that earlier?! Now it’s too late.

So much was going on in the three men’s heads right now, it was almost impossible to keep track of all their thoughts. Roger must have suffered for almost three days or even longer. How the hell did he manage to keep it secret? How did he manage to hide his pain so well? How did it go unnoticed? It hurt so much knowing that their friend didn’t say anything about his pain, his symptoms, but then again this is Roger. Roger Taylor who would complain about everyone and everything except his own health. This was typical. Though, on the one hand, this was part of the Roger Taylor they got to know, grew fond of and loved. Being a Drama Queen was part of him and they wouldn’t want him to be any different, except if it was about neglecting his own well-being. Brian knew exactly why he did it, though and he can imagine that Freddie and Deacy knew too. Roger probably didn’t want to let Freddie, John, and Brian down. The blonde knew well enough how much this Japan tour meant to the others, he would never want to be the reason to cancel a concert and with that not only letting his friends but also his fans down. Music was important to him, just like it was to the other three but that didn’t mean health wasn’t important. 

The waiting room was filled with sobs from each man and no one had the heart or felt like talking right now. They just wanted to be with their friend, hugging him, making sure he was alright but that was impossible. Even though they tried to convince themselves that everything was going to be fine, neither of them was really believing it, it was way harder than one might think. All they could do now was praying and hoping their drummer would make it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me for that chapter. Also, very important and like I already mentioned I am not a doctor whatsoever ( I only had biology honours class and that's it) All the information in the fic I found online ( yes I did my research) but I am not entirely sure if those are trustable sources. And don't forget this takes place in the 1970s. But anyway, please share your thought!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, mates. I'm back with another chapter. Hope you will like it. Thanks for the love and support on my latest chapter. I am glad you still keep on reading! Thanks!♥

Five hours later and still there were tears not as many as before, but they were still there. Those weren’t just tears of sadness and fear, those were also tears of blame, even anger. Why anger? Well, simply because the boys were angry at themselves for not reacting sooner, especially since they were well aware of how stubborn Roger was, but there was nothing they could do about changing this now.

It was two o clock in the morning and yet they still didn’t have any information on how Roger was doing and it killed the men inside. Every time someone walked past, they hoped it was a nurse or the doctor who would tell them news on him. Freddie even stood up a couple of times, walking around searching for someone who could give him at least a little bit of information on Roger, but it was always without success. 

“The doctor said the operation can take about 12 hours or longer, Freddie,” Jim said calmly after Freddie came back from another failed attempt to find out more. Miami obviously noticed Freddie’s annoyed and desperate look as he came back. “We can’t do anything more than to wait.” He continued, his voice still calm and gentle not wanting to upset him more, although even he was getting more impatient himself. 

“They must know something!” Freddie replied bluntly, he knew it was wrong to let his anger and desperation as well as frustration out on the others but it was just too hard for him to keep it together. “All I get to hear from the nurses is that they can’t update us at the moment. What the hell is that supposed to mean?! We were the ones bringing him here, weren’t we? We are his friends. His family, we have the bloody right to know!” Freddie continued, walking around and raising his voice a bit. Jim let out a sigh and wanted to reply as he got interrupted by John.  
“Freddie.”- his voice quiet and soft and his cheeks still wet and red from crying. “Please.” He said, shaking his head slowly at him before gesturing towards Brian, who sat next to him.  
Freddie immediately felt bad and stopped, sitting down to Brian’s left. “I’m sorry.” He said so quietly that almost he himself couldn’t hear it. He turned his head over to Brian and then to John who was sitting to his right, making Brian be the one sitting right between them.  
Deacy had laid his arm around the guitarist’s shoulder to comfort him a bit, thinking that probably wouldn’t help him get better, but at least it was worth a try and after a few seconds Freddie did the same. 

“He will make, darling. His stubborn brain made him come so far, he wouldn’t dare to give up now. He loves us too much.” Freddie said, after few more minutes, his arm still around his shoulder just like John’s, as he gave Deacon a quick look. “Freddie is right. You know, how he is. He would never give up on us. Rog knows we need him.” John added. No matter how hard both men tried to believe this themselves, it just wouldn't want to work.

Brian didn’t react right away, he just kept on looking down at his feet. To be honest, he actually hadn’t really moved the last couple of hours and every attempt to make him say something failed. Everyone was on the edge and felt just awful but the guitarist seemed to be off worse, almost as if he was traumatized. Why exactly John and Freddie couldn’t tell for sure but they reckoned it had something to do with the ambulance ride. They were almost sure it had something to do with it. Brian behaved liked this ever since they met back in the driveway of the Hospital. The two Friends didn’t have the heart to actually ask him about it. Not yet at least and secretly they were hoping he would tell them about it himself rather than get pushed to. Though, no matter what had happened, it must have totally wrecked him. 

The mood was tense as they fell into silence again, wishing to skip through time so they would finally get some more information on their blonde friend. It was about 30 minutes later that Miami interrupted the quiet.

“Look, I know you might not like what I am going to say now, but maybe it will be better if we get some rest.-” He stopped when Freddie and John looked up at him, not sure if they had heard right, opening their mouth to protest, how could they possibly sleep knowing their best friend is going through a serious operation? “-, and before you say anything, I want you to know that there’s a hotel just across the street. Five minutes walking distance. Tops.” He quickly added before the others could start to protest.  
“I know, you don’t want to leave and God knows, neither do I want to but we are all very tired and exhausted and it is safe to say that I know Roger well enough to know that he would not like waking up seeing his friends turned into Zombies.” He continued, gesturing at them, a weak but soft smile on his face, trying his best to ease off the mood and to convince the three friends. Also, Brian had finally looked up now too, thinking about what Miami said.  
It was true, it indeed looked like Jim sat in front of three Zombies. Their faces were pale, even Freddie’s was and he barely lost colour. Under their eyes were dark circles and their facial features were full of exhaustion, frustration, and stress as well as sadness and fear for the drummer, not to mention the redness that were their eyes.

Though, despite all that, the fact that Miami talked so positively about Roger waking up and him probably not liking them looking and feeling like the living dead (well depending on how a Zombie feels, if they feel at all), really made them feel it was actually true. That he was actually going to make it and to wake up.

And once again there was a silence that filled the room for a couple of minutes in which each man was going through Jim's offer in their head.  
“I think he is right.” Suddenly came from Brian and everyone looked at him, not really believing that he, after five or more hours, finally said something.  
“The Doctor said it would take 12 hours or maybe longer, right?! And it doesn’t seem like we can get any information on how he is, anyway.” Brian continued, as the other two friends shared a look before nodding in agreement. “Roger would hate it if we wouldn’t take care of ourselves because of him.” He added, being reasonably and Jim sighed in victory, glad he managed to convince them.  
“I’d say we should at least try and rest. He would want us to. However, on one condition, though. I want someone to immediately call or get us once there is news on Roger’s state and /or when he wakes up.” Brian finished and his statement and suggestion got agreed on a “Yes!” that John and Freddie blurted out almost in sync.

“Actually, I already took care of that.” Jim said. “Just like I already took care of the Hotel rooms.” He confessed. “My bad.” He added silently and it actually made the other’s smile a bit. 

It hit them like a train but everybody suddenly felt like talking about Roger definitely making it through the operation, made it a little bit easier not to lose hope. And as the boys exchanged looks, they were sure that each of them was thinking the same; which is that Roger wouldn’t want them to lose hope at all. He would want them to keep on going and to stay positive. Well, and to be honest that was actually the least they could for him. Staying positive. As to they know Roger will keep on fighting. 

“Well, that’s settled then, my Darlings.” Freddie said, clapping his hands and being the first one on his feet as the other’s followed with heavy hearts, though knowing Roger was in good hands and would want them to do this and after all the Hotel was just across the street, they could be at his side in five minutes maybe even less. 

So, they thanked the receptionist who smiled sympatric and left the building. Brian, John, and Freddie walking in arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go! Please let me know what you are thinking! And please mind the mistakes!♥


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I am back with the ninth chapter! Hope you will like it! Thanks for still sticking with me and reading my work!♥

Once arrived in the Hotel, the three friends agreed on sharing one Hotel room. None of them wanted to be alone at the moment. They sure knew that they probably wouldn’t talk much anyway, since each of them was busy thinking and worrying but having each other’s presence there was more than enough and much better than to face the long night alone. 

So, before mumbling a tired and exhausted 'thank you’ and 'Good Night’ or better 'Good Morning' to Jim, they disappeared into their room. It wasn’t the best Hotel they had ever stayed in, but it also wasn’t the worst and to be honest, they couldn’t care less about it. All that was important to them was that their room actually had a telephone so they were able to get news of Roger’s state of health.  
Fortunate for the three men sharing one room was, that Miami already explained the whole situation to the receptionist in the Hospital as well as to the receptionist Lady in the Hotel and made sure the Hospital had the Hotel’s number. Miami told them to call the Lady on the reception desk so she could immediately ring the boy’s room or Jim’s as soon there is any news whatsoever. 

Sighing loudly, Brian sat down on the mattress of the bed he would be trying to sleep on or to rest on tonight. He looked over to John who was now looking out of the window and as Deacs noticed that he was able to see the Hospital from there, he quickly grabbed one of the stools that were standing in the corner of the room and put it right in front of the window and quickly sat down on it. It was as if he deep inside hoped to be able to find out about Roger’s state by simply looking out and watching the Hospital, but obviously, things didn’t work like that. Brian wanted to say something but then again, he knew his words would be useless. Everyone had their own way to cope with the current situation and if that meant Deacy would spend the next hours in front of the window hoping to see whatever he wanted to see, well then Brian wouldn’t want to keep him from it. His way of coping was mainly just internalizing what happened and what he had seen on stage as well as during the ambulance ride. He couldn’t keep those pictures and feelings that were inside of him from reappearing every second, it hurt so much. It wasn’t like Brian didn’t know that internalizing things such as this could be very dangerous but no matter how hard he tried not to think about it, it wouldn’t want to work. He sighed again as he laid down on the bed, facing the ceiling and staring holes into it, while every now and then looking at the telephone, hoping it might ring. 

“I don’t know about you, Darlings, but I don’t think I will be able to sleep here.” Came from Freddie who made his way out of the bathroom, drying his wet hair with a towel for he had taken a shower to keep his emotions under control and it normally worked quite well, not today, though.  
He gave John and Brian a slight smile but soon realized that they didn’t really pay any attention to what he was saying. Freddie couldn’t blame them. Other than Brian and John Freddie’s way of coping was trying to distract himself as good as possible, which is actually a good thing because thinking and worrying wouldn’t help to make the situation any better anyway, except if alcohol was the distraction, but this was rarely the case. Fred normally had his cats to keep him distracted and to entertain him, playing the piano helped him too, taking a bath and writing songs was something he did quite often as well but mainly if something was eating on him, he turned to his Friends. Well, but right now that wasn’t possible because there were trying to deal with the situation themselves, not to mention that one of his friends, who usually was very good in distracting him from any bad emotions that swelled up in him, was going through a very bad and serious operation. 

The lead-singer made his way over to John who was still staring at the Hospital across the street, with heavy and sleepy eyes. Fred took a look over his shoulder to find out what exactly he was looking at and turned straight away and took a step back once he saw the Hospital. That little weak smile on his face dropped. He didn’t want to be reminded by what happened, he wanted to stay distracted, he just wanted to have his friend back in his arms, safe and not thinking about what he was going through. 

He walked over to the bed next to Brian, noticing an expression he had never seen in his face before. He kind of looked traumatized as he was still staring at the ceiling. It scared him.  
“Dear, I thought you agreed on Miami’s suggestion to sleep and rest a bit?” He said softly not to startle the man next to him, while gently giving him a pat on his shoulder to get his attention. Fred wanted to help, even though he felt horrible himself.  
“Mh? Wha-?” Brian said a bit confused caused by getting ripped out of his thoughts, obviously not noticing Fred as he was lost in his own mind, now looking at him quizzical.  
“Sleep, Darling? You were the one who got me and Deacy over there, to try and sleep here. And seriously, dear, we all look like we could need it.” Fred emphasized the word ‘All’ so that also John was now paying attention to him and while Freddie studied John’s features, he noticed that he looked just as tired as Brian and probably he himself.  
“Lay down at least, Deacy. They promised to let us know as soon as there is news on Rog.” He said. “Please, Darling.” Freddie tried again as there was no reaction whatsoever coming from him. Deacon looked at him and smiled weakly, appreciating his friend's concern but soon after turned his head back to the window. Freddie sighed as he took one more look at Brian, who was back at staring holes into the ceiling again. It was useless. He slowly shook his head and laid down himself now, but on his side, facing the telephone so that in case they’d call, he could be the first one to answer. 

They remained silent, lost in their own minds, only the cars outside and their own breathing was to hear as eventually the exhaustion, they couldn’t fight anymore, took over and they all fell asleep. Even John did, who was still in the seating position and who placed his elbows on the windowsill, laying his head into the palms of his hands to support it and prevent his body from falling off the chair. 

It was a restless sleep for each man and their dreams were dark and haunted by the happenings from the concert. However, their dreams stopped as after a few hours later someone was, and it seemed aggressive, knocking at the door of the three friend's Hotel room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that's that. I know, Miami is being a mom again, but the boys need him, haha. I really hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know your thoughts. Each opinion means a lot to me. Thanks for all your love.  
> Stay safe!♥


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is finally some news on Roger!  
> Thanks for keep on reading! Always makes my day! Apologizing for mistakes in advance!  
> Once again, I'm not a doctor so sorry for that too.  
> Enjoy♥

The loud knock at the door managed to make Brian and Freddie almost fall out of their beds and to make John fall down of the stool he was sitting and sleeping on just a minute ago. It took a few seconds until they became aware of their surroundings and as they remembered why they were actually here, in some Hotel in Japan, all the memories from last night came back.

Another knock. Hearing that again, they spend no time on rushing towards the door. The friends had their hands on the doorknob at the same time which therefore caused them to open the door together at the same time as well. 

Outside the door stood an exhausted and tired but also frantic looking Jim ‘Miami’ Beach who was just about to knock again.  
“There you are!” He said, emphasizing the ‘There’. “I have been knocking for five minutes straight.” He continued, exaggerating a bit, it was more like two or three minutes.  
“The Hospital called. They have news on Roger.” He then said, knowing that the others were dying to hear what he knew and had to say. 

“Is he okay?” Brian almost yelled, his heart beating fast.  
“The lady on the reception desk couldn’t tell me more than what I just told you for they haven’t informed her fully,” Miami said, feeling a bit sorry as the so hopeful faces of John, Brian and Freddie dropped and changed into a scared and worried look again. “We should go.” Jim continued, not wanting to wait any longer himself.

Not caring about the fact that they just woke up and were looking a mess, not even Freddie, the Boys were out of the door only seconds after. Almost running down the floor and out of the Hotel. They crossed the street and stormed to the Hospital.

The woman who seemed like she was waiting for them already, gave the boys a soft smile and told them that the Doctor would be with them in no time. 

“She could have at least told us if Roger is alright or not,” Freddie said, mainly to himself, as they sat down in the waiting room once again. God, they hated waiting rooms. They probably would forever from now on. Sitting there and waiting like they did last night, Brian finally got aware of the time. It was a few minutes past nine o clock in the morning. He looked around, the hospital seemed fuller than it was last night. There was more life, which gave not only him but also John, Freddie, and Miami a little bit of comfort and hope that everything is going to be okay, why exactly, they couldn’t say. It was probably better than just sitting around with nothing but silence and no people around them if this made sense. Not to forget that Roger wouldn’t want them to lose hope, anyway.

After ten minutes that seemed more like ten hours, a nurse finally called for the four men and lead them into a private room, where the doctor they had spoken to last night was already waiting.  
Normally the boys were pretty good at reading facial expressions, however, with him, they had no idea if good or bad news were awaiting them and it scared the hell out of every single man. 

They sat down, feeling like their hearts would jump out of their chests any minute. Freddie was the first one to talk.  
“How is he?” He asked.  
“Is he alright?” John suddenly started, too.  
“Did he make it safely through the operation?” Brian followed, not being able to wait for news any longer.

“We managed to remove your Friend’s appendix and to bring him through the operation-“ The Doctor started and upon that answer, everyone but Brain started smiling and letting out a long and relieved sigh. “-but-” 

There it was! The ‘But’-part that Brian knew would be coming. He had a feeling that Roger couldn’t have made it through the operation just like that and without complications. That would be too good to be true. His heart stopped beating for a bit. Not only his but also Freddie’s and John’s. Everyone now turned as pale as Roger was last night.

“- because of his weak state your Friend gave us a very hard time keeping his heartbeat stable. We even had to resuscitate him. You can imagine that this caused even more complications than we already expected.” He stopped for a short amount of time, seeing the exact moment the hearts of the four men in front of him were breaking and their tears coming back.  
“- though, you can be lucky that Mr. Taylor is a stubborn and strong man for not giving up, although his body was not far from doing so.” He continued, trying to give them something positive to hold on to but also to make sure they knew that the situation was serious. They all understood. The Doctor didn’t say anything after that for a couple of minutes. 

John wiped away the tears that almost made their way down his cheek before speaking up.  
“Can we see him?” He managed, his voice breaking in the end.  
“Yes, you can but I have to warn you-” He said, sighing heavy before finishing his sentence.  
“-well, at the moment we have no idea when or if he is going to wake up for his body is in a very weak state. I’m really sorry. We are doing everything we can to help him and to make him feel better as well as comfortable.” He said, knowing this again must be horrible news to take in. He could literally feel it.  
“Though, don’t forget your friend seems like a very strong man. He already made it through the operation. He is fighting.” He simply added, actually knowing a Doctor were not supposed to raise false hope but he felt like reminding them would be a good idea. He soon after left them to be. Once again giving them space to let the received information sink in. 

~~~  
No one said anything as they followed a nurse who lead them to Roger’s room.

They held their breath as she opened the door. Brian was the first one to enter and to see his best friend, followed by John, Freddie, and Miami. The nurse left, closing the door behind her, leaving them all standing there for a couple of minutes, not moving but just staring at their deadly looking friend.  
Even though they saw him last night, it seemed like they haven’t seen the blonde in forever. For each man the world was spinning. Everything felt unreal, almost like a dream. Like a bad dream, a nightmare they couldn’t wake up from, no matter how hard they tried. They wanted to cry, to scream but there was nothing left in them. An emptiness that scared each man. Why couldn’t they just wake up from this horrid dream? They shouldn’t be here. They should be preparing for their next concert somewhere. This was supposed to be one of their first big tours to make history and now? Who would have thought it would end like that? A couple of days ago they were still joking around with their drummer, now they got told he was almost dying. This wasn’t fair. None of this was.

Around Roger was a mess of tubes, a display which showed the rhythm of his heartbeat and other medical machines which none of the friends knew where they actually were there for. 

Once again Brian was the first one to move. He walked around the bed, standing on Roger’s right as he took his pale and cold hand in his, he was surprised that he still had tears left in him. John did the same, just to the blonde’s left while Freddie made his way to the end of the bed. Roger looked so peaceful laying there, it was almost unbelievable to imagine that he had gone through such awful things.

“Darling, I am so sorry.” He told him, knowing he wouldn’t hear him but deep inside there was a voice telling him he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoped you liked this chapter as well. Please let me know what you think of it. I really appreciate it.  
> Stay safe and take care!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! But I'm back now with yet another chapter. Crazy I know! Hope you will enjoy this, too!  
> Thanks for all the love and support on my previous chapters. Always happy to read your comments!♥

It was almost a week ago that the boys got news of Roger and were able to visit him after his operation for the first time again and since then there was no reaction whatsoever from the blonde drummer. He was still lying still, not moving a bit. The only time he was in fact moving was when a nurse came to clean and wash him, but of course, then she was the cause for the movements. Roger was still in a deep sleep, too weak and yet no one had any idea when or if he was going to wake up. 

The three friends hardly left his side and if they actually managed to leave him, -always unwilling, - it was never farther away than about 500 meters. Though, this only happened when the men needed to use the bathroom, got some drinks or food. Good for them though was that Miami was still there. He made sure the boys would eat and drink to prevent them from following Roger’s example to black out and collapse.

He would never tell them that, but for Jim it was hard to see the band that broken. Miami knew them for quite some time now and so he also knew that barely anyone or anything would manage to bring them down. Nothing could because the four friends always had each other. If anyone of them was in need of love the others would be there to give care and attention and even if one of them went through something so bad in life that he thought there was no hope left, he always knew to just hold out his hand. He could rely on the fact that the others would take it. After all, Friend’s will always be friends. As long as the four men had each other they seemed almost invincible. 

Now, however, there were only three. The other one was almost dying in front of their eyes. Freddie, John, and Brian would never forgive themselves for that. It would always haunt them, they knew that for a fact. Needless to say, that the blame they were giving themselves aggravated with each minute Roger was lying in that Hospital bed and just wouldn’t move. 

There weren’t that many major improvements yet apart from Roger finally being able to breathe by himself. Seeing the steady rising of his chest, - Roger’s body was doing without any help of some oxygen mask or anything alike, - was the only thing they cling to as a token that he would make it. It’s almost the only thing that kept them from losing hope. Another thing they started doing was sitting in a sort of half circle, Roger’s bed included, and telling all sorts of stories of things that happened in their past but also about things they would want to do in the future. They kept on talking about Roger as if it was certain he would make it, just like they did the evening the accident had happened. The optimism was strong, though as soon as another day ended and there was still no improvement of the blonde man, doubts started to form in each of the man’s heads all over again. 

The first couple of days of waiting for Roger to wake up, Jim tried his best to convince the three friends to go back to the Hotel and sleep. The only respond Miami had gotten were looks of each man which were clearly saying ‘You have got to be kidding me’ and it was true, that was exactly what each man was thinking. When they had stayed in the Hotel, after things happened that night of the accident, they gave in because they knew Roger was in an operation and therefore, they couldn’t do anything but wait.   
However, now the drummer could wake up any minute and no one would want to miss his waking. Jim couldn’t blame them for that and so he quickly gave up trying to convince them, instead they agreed on taking ‘shifts’.   
Meaning that for example if John and Brian would want to try and get some rest, Freddie would be the one sitting right next to Roger, making sure he was okay and to tell if he was waking up, so he could immediately wake the others. They just didn’t want Roger to wake up all alone, probably confused and scared. 

Since Roger had a private hospital room, - a benefit of being Rockstars whose single just landed on Number one in the charts and now touring, - they had a lot of room to make themselves comfortable, if that was at all possible in a Hospital.   
The staff, who was incredibly kind and treated the band like they were actually some kind of royal highness, was an immense help, too. They gave them a table, stools and easy chairs which actually were more pleasant to rest on than expected, which also meant that they actually managed to get some sleep. It worked surprisingly well, even though the happenings of a few days ago were still haunting them in their dreams.   
They had a TV too, though they barely used it. Especially in the beginning, they refused to watch television, because reporters obviously managed to make up crazy stories about Roger’s health and what had happened to him. Some even said drugs and alcohol were the cause for what happened to the drummer on stage. Which, obviously wasn’t the case. ‘Bloody lying assholes’ had Freddie said before switching off the TV. Protesting on turning it on again.

~~~  
It was late in the evening of the sixth day of waiting for Roger to open his eyes. Brian just came back with three cups of tea for everyone but Miami. He had already left to get some sleep but of course, didn’t forget to serve the friends with sandwiches. Even the nurses already have been there doing everything necessary before saying goodnight to the three men and heading out, telling them to call if they’d need anything. 

Anyway, Freddie was currently beating John in a game of scrabble as Brian tried to open the door with three cups of tea. As he eventually managed it, no thanks for the two-scrabble player, he headed over to the table to place two cups for them on it and then chose to sit down next to Roger’s bed, holding his own cup in his right hand while his left took Roger’s right.   
It became a habit if you can call it that. Ever since he first sat down next to the blonde.   
While Freddie would brush Roger’s hair aside and John stroke his arm every now and then, Brian would choose to take his hand. Quite often humming one of their songs, sometimes he even came up with a new guitar riff, John with a bass riff and Freddie with some lyrics for a new song.

Tonight wasn’t any different apart from the fact that Brian was talking to him instead from humming a melody.   
“Come on Rog. It’s been almost a week.” He said quietly. “I know you are fighting but we can’t continue without you. Nothing is the same anymore. We need you.” He let out a soft chuckle.   
“We even miss your stubborn comments that often lead to those stupid and unnecessary arguments.” He stopped again, not realizing that John and Freddie stopped playing but now looking over at the guitarist instead, listening to what he said before they wordless agreed to join him.   
Brian continued. “Please don’t give up, okay?” He asked, knowing there wouldn’t be an answer anyway, still holding Roger’s cold hand in his. 

“It’s true, Darling. We are not the same without you.” Freddie suddenly joined in and Brian looked up at him.  
“Once you are back on your two beautiful legs again, my dear, the next concert we are going to perform will only consist of ‘I’m in love with your car’,” Freddie said, which made them all chuckle softly, while Fred moved on brushing a bit of Roger’s hair out of his face.   
“And I promise you to sing more on stage like you always want me to,” John said, who was sitting on Roger’s right again, stroking his left arm. The others also smiled at that. “Just don’t give up, Rog,” John added. “Please.”

They stayed like that for a couple of seconds as suddenly something was weakly squeezing Brian’s hand. At first, he thought that he would start imagining things. It would make sense, he often had the feeling Roger would move but he reckoned it was only because they all wanted him to move so badly.  
But as the squeezing happened a second time, Brian was sure that those were actually muscles Roger was moving. He almost cried out but remained in silent. Wordless and in disbelief. He looked down at the hand he was holding and he could see the index finger moving. 

“John! Fred!” Brian finally managed to say as he gestured at Roger’s hand.   
Freddie and John were at his side in no time, seeing exactly what Brian was seeing. And just like the guitarist, they were speechless. No one knew what to say. It felt unreal. Like a dream, but this time a dream which they happily want to become reality. Roger was moving. He was actually moving, after almost a week. They looked up from his hand to his face. And what they were seeing then made them hold their breaths. 

A few tears had actually managed to escape through his still closed eyelids of the blonde and were now making their way down his cheeks. 

Roger was crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, you saw right! Roger is finally waking up! On Miami is still being the Band's mom!!  
> Please let me know your thoughts in the comments! Thanks.♥  
> Take care and stay safe you all!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 12 is there!!  
> Thanks for still sticking around and reading my fic. It means the world.  
> Hope you will enjoy this one. I did something new for a difference.

Roger was, despite his closed eyes, crying. 

Did he hear them? Were those tears of sadness?  
Or was he in pain? So, tears of pain maybe?

The boys still didn’t manage to speak as they were looking into his blonde friend’s face. Big tears were rolling down his cheeks but his expression still remained the one he had before. 

It was indeed a shock for every single man and to be honest they had no idea how exactly they should process any of his. On the one hand, they were happy to see that his friend was about to move which meant that he probably wasn’t far from waking up either. That’s a good sign but on the other hand, they were extremely worried. Roger never had been a man of many tears although he was quite emotional. One would barely catch him crying.

Was it possible that he could have heard his friends talking? Maybe he wanted to reply but he didn’t manage to. Maybe he couldn’t.  
Or perhaps the pain was taking over. Perhaps the memories are coming back to him now. What about him getting actually aware of everything that happened? But he would at least open his eyes then, wouldn’t he? At least he would try, but his eyelids still wouldn’t move. Not in the slightest. 

He was sweating now, though. Did the fever come back? What about a nightmare maybe? It would make sense; a feverish nightmare was the worse. One of those nightmares he couldn’t wake up from. A nightmare just as awful as the feeling the boys have felt when they first realized that Roger could have died in front of their eyes. The only difference was though, that the nightmare Brian, Freddie, and John were going through was indeed reality. 

Whatever Roger was dreaming about, if it was a dream that is, then it really was just a bad dream and nothing more. He would just have to wake up then. Though, he wouldn’t know and would that actually be better? Was this whole situation really better than a nightmare? The fact that he almost died. That he wasn’t far from it. Could that really be better than a nightmare? Who knows. Obviously, they still wanted nothing more than to see Roger awake.

So much was going on in the men’s heads, no one could think straight but everyone wanted and was expecting the same thing. Everyone was waiting for Roger to finally open his eyelids so that they could see those beautiful blue eyes again.

Actually, Brian was the last one who saw the blue of Roger’s eye before he had blacked out on stage. He was the one who witnessed the drummer being too exhausted, sick and tired to hold his eyes open and just let them roll up back into his head. It was a terrifying moment.

Everyone desired nothing more than Roger opening his eyes and to see that spark of life in him again. 

Still standing there and holding Roger’s hand, Brian thought that just staring at him and not doing anything wouldn' help in this situation.  
Whatever made Roger cry, one thing was clear he needed comfort. He needed a reassurance that he wasn’t alone. That his friends were with him. That he was going to be okay.

“Hey, Rog. Shhh-“ Brian started, very softly and calmly. “We are all here. You are not alone. It’s alright. You are going to be just fine.” Brian continued, squeezing his hand softly. Hoping it would help Roger to calm down and to make him realize that he indeed was not alone 

“It’s okay, mate. We won't go anywhere. Take your time. You will back on your feet again soon.” John started once Brian was finished, thinking it would help Roger.

“Yes, Darling. We have time. I managed to wait for you to come out of that cupboard at Rockfield Farm so I can easily wait for you to wake up now, dear. And I mean, it’s not like we haven’t waited for almost a week to finally get a sign of you still being alive.” Came from Freddie, he smiled a bit though with concern.  
Deep inside hoping that this little bit of joking would have a positive effect.  
John and Brian were looking at him for a short moment. In disbelief first but soon with a soft smile. They always have been amazed by Freddie’s positivity and talent to be able to joke even in the worst of times and situations, even if it was badly timed sometimes.  
Of course, on rare occasions even he was about to lose hope and with it his positivity, - like on the day the accident happened-, but it was never for too long. It always came back quickly. Thankfully. The other three always valued that talent of his. They always would. That was Freddie Mercury. The boys wouldn’t want him to be any different, anyway.

~~~  
Roger’s POV:

 

Everything was dark. Everything was quiet. Everything hurt. 

Where was he? Why wasn’t there any sign of life? Why was he alone? 

Roger wanted to scream but he couldn’t. He wanted to speak but he failed. He wanted to make any sound. Just anything, it didn’t matter what. It was like he had a lump in his throat that kept him from making any noise at all. He tried so hard but his vocal cords just wouldn’t want to give in. 

Maybe he could try to move.  
But even that didn’t work. He couldn’t even open his eyes if they were closed at all. Maybe he was just in a dark room. Blind maybe? He had no idea where he was. It was like a nightmare. Like those who made you sweat, turn and cry in your sleep. But he couldn’t move, so what was this? That didn’t make sense. 

He stopped trying to figure out where he was as suddenly a sharp pain made itself noticeable down in his abdomen. It hurt like hell, it made him sick and caused Roger to want to curl up into a ball, hoping it would ease the pain. But how could he if he couldn’t move.  
And if this wasn’t bad enough suddenly the pain spread through his whole body making him want to cry out in pain. Everything hurt now. Not just his stomach, his head was almost just as bad. Like an exploding volcano. His legs and arms were mostly just numb but the drummer was pretty sure they would start hurting as well any minute. 

What in God’s name was happening?

Roger waited a bit more before he tried to open his eyes again. Unsuccessful. 

So, he tried to give everything he could to move at least. And as he did so, he stopped shortly after.  
The drummer wasn’t sure if he was just imagining things or if it was real but it felt like someone’s hand was in his. So, did he actually managed to move his muscles and squeeze someone's hand? But whose?

Not giving up yet, he tried again. It felt the same, only that now he could feel someone squeezing his hand back after a couple of seconds.  
So, he wasn’t alone, was he? Someone was with him. 

Trying again to move, this time his fingers, he suddenly heard a voice calling out to someone. He couldn’t really make out the words but the voice was familiar to him.  
Could it really be? Brian?!

Then there was silence again. A silence that made the drummer want to burst out into tears.  
Once again, he had the strong urge to scream. He was afraid that if he wouldn’t reply or react to the voice, it would leave and let him alone in the darkness again. And he couldn’t be alone. He didn’t want to be alone. He needed his Friends. He needed them like he never did before. 

Roger almost gave up hope and wanted to let the darkness around him completely swallow him as he heard the familiar voice again. 

Now he was sure he could hear his name. Well, more like his nickname.  
The voice was calm and soft and the accent confirmed that it had to be Brian.  
Brian was still there. His long-time best friend was still with him. He wasn’t alone. 

Suddenly there was another voice, but it was coming from another direction.  
“Deacy?!” Roger thought as he recognized his other friend’s voice. It was soft too but a bit more desperate and somehow it even seemed a bit shy. This only could be John. He was here too. He didn’t leave him either. 

Now he only wished to hear Freddie’s voice and just a couple of seconds after hoping Freddie was there too, he actually heard the lead-singer talking to him.  
So, Freddie was there too. 

Freddie, John, and Brian. Tears were escaping his eyes lids once again. He could feel it now. His wet cheeks.  
And with that realization, the memories of what happened to him slowly came back. 

Weren’t they in Japan? Didn’t they just perform? Why wasn’t he there with his friends then?  
He was sick, wasn’t he? He was sick and refusing to admit it? He lied to his friends, didn’t he?  
They had to stop the concert, didn’t they? Because of him. Because he lied. Because he had been a thick-headed idiot. Freddie was right. He was a Drama Queen.  
Why were they here then? How could they still be with him when he had been so stubborn and selfish? He was the reason they were wherever they were now. 

Everything was coming back to him and it hurt, even more than his head or abdomen.

The strong desire to just open his eyes, to move and to hug his friends and to tell them that he was sorry for everything that happened came over him as new and fresh tears were escaping his eyes once more.

For his friend’s sake, he took all the strength that was still left in him and finally managed to open his eyes and to talk. It was bright and he couldn’t really make out were his friends exactly were but it didn’t matter at that point, he just wanted to apologize. 

“I’m sorry.” He said very quietly that he wasn’t even sure if any of the men had heard him. His voice weak, tried and exhausted but he hoped his friends understood that he was really meaning it. 

“I’m so sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, we finally get a better inside of Roger's thoughts. I hope you liked the way I did it.  
> Please let me know in the comments. They keep me going!♥  
> Thanks for reading. Stay safe!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Instead of preparing for my Job interview tomorrow I finished chapter 13. I can't believe it myself.  
> I really hope you enjoy this as much as the others!♥  
> And thanks for still sticking with me and reading.

The three friends still couldn’t really believe that Roger was finally going to wake up after about a week.  
Though, despite the happiness that was rushing over them the moment the drummer began to move his hand, they still couldn’t stop worrying about the fact that Roger was indeed crying. 

The man who they’ve barely seen crying and if he was, in fact, crying then out of anger, on a rare occasion though.  
Most of the time when he was angry, he would throw something, like his drumsticks, drum kit, the radio or even the TV.  
It became normality and the others quickly got used to it. They reckoned that if he was actually crying out of sadness or pain or something similar, he would do it when he was alone. 

Brian, Freddie, and John knew that the blonde hated it to be seen when he was crying, he hated it because he didn’t want to seem weak in front of them.  
Though everyone knew that crying had absolutely nothing to do with weakness whatsoever, Roger however did, it was because of his big ego, he couldn’t help it. 

 

Seeing him so helplessly lying in that white hospital bed in front of them, every now and then new tears making their way down his cheeks, hurt the three men more than they’d expected. He must have been in so much pain, physically and mentally. They wanted nothing more than to hold him in their arms and to apologize for everything that happened. They wanted to apologize for not reacting any sooner, for not noticing sooner than the day it had happened, the day it was almost too late.  
Of course, it wasn’t actually their fault either but they couldn’t stop thinking about it.

 

John wanted to speak some more comforting words to his friend in the hope he would realize that they were all there, waiting for him and being there for him as unexpectedly Roger finally opened his eyes, very slowly, though; looking up the ceiling, not moving his head yet. 

The drummer’s facial expression seemed to be filled with pain, exhaustion, tiredness but also confusion.  
It made sense, how should he know where they were, anyway. The last time he was awake they were on stage in some Stadium somewhere in Tokyo. They could be anywhere by now, not to forget that he had no idea that he was out of it for almost a whole bloody week. 

He blinked a few times, before his eyes were wide open, his head still not turning though. 

Each of the men felt a sigh of relief escaping their lips. It was like someone took a heavyweight of their shoulders. It was so good seeing his friend coming to sense. Of course, there was still a lot to worry about, but knowing he had made it so far, still fighting, gave them confidence.

 

“Hey, mate take it easy. You’re fine. You’re good.” John began, thinking it would be best to keep reminding Roger he wasn’t alone instead of not saying anything and leaving him in the unknown.

“Deacy’s right, Rog, take it easy. We won’t go anyway.” Brian added while softly smiling down at him, still holding his hand and squeezing it softly every now and then to ensure Roger that this was real. That he was not imagining things, that he wasn’t dreaming anymore. 

“It nice to see those beautiful blue eyes of yours again, Darling.” Freddie included. “You scared the hell out of us. Don’t you ever do that again, dear, I’m still too young to get grey hair.” Freddie ended his sentence after a short break, shaking his head in disbelief.  
Though he soon stopped and the smile that was on his face before, broke as he noticed that Roger started crying again, obviously not hearing any of the words that had been said. 

Maybe he needed a bit more time. 

John gave a Brian a worried look, which the guitarist replied, his smile was dropping now, too.

After a couple of minutes of giving their blonde friend some more time to get aware of everything around him and his thoughts, they noticed movement in his lips. Like if he was trying to say something. And to their surprise he actually did. Though, it was almost impossible to understand the words that managed to escape his lips.  
For a moment the boys even though he was talking nonsense, after all, he was still under medications, who knew what was going on in his mind.  
But nonsense or not, hearing his voice was the best thing that happened so far.

“I’m so sorry.” They heard Roger trying to talk a second time, his voice just like before but the words clearer now. So much clearer. 

And this made the three men stop functioning for a bit. Now they understood very well what he was saying, what he was trying to say before.

Why would Roger apologize? For what exactly, anyway? 

Brian wanted to say that there would be no reason to be sorry for anything. That they were just happy to see him alive, to have him back, but he stopped as Roger opened his mouth again, giving him time and the chance to speak. 

“Th-this is all m-my fault.” The drummer only just managed to say, his voice raspier than the others were used to and with a lot of breaks in between which was caused by the sudden whiff of pain he felt.

Once again, the three friends exchanged worried looks before turning their heads back to Roger, who was trying to adjust his eyesight to the brightness of the room again, after all, he hadn’t seen light for quite some time. 

“Rog-,” Brian started. “- there is absolutely nothing you should be sorry for. And none of this-“ Brian looked around, then at his friends, knowing he was also speaking for them, before back to the drummer.  
“- none of this is your fault.” And he meant it. His voice was still calm and soft, though filled with determination as well as sympathy and concern for the younger man in front of him. 

John and Freddie agreed at the same time, nodding but stopping shortly after since the blonde still didn’t manage to turn his head and to look at any of them. 

There was a silence again in which Roger opened his mouth a couple of times to try and talk, to protest, to disagree but he desperately failed. His vocal cords were still hating him and he couldn’t put them into motion, instead, he managed to shake his head, shutting his eyes as some more tears were rolling down his face.

To the others, it almost seemed as if Roger was embarrassed to tell his friend’s those things. To answer them, to tell them why he was sorry and to admit that all of this was his own fault, which of course wasn’t to Brian, John, and Freddie; they still blamed themselves for what happened. They haven’t even spent a thought on it yet.

“Whatever happened - “ They heard his raspy and weak voice again. “- where…wherever we are now. W-we wouldn’t be here if it … if it wasn't… because of me.” Now he managed to move his head into Brian’s direction, who looked just as shocked as Freddie and John. “Because of m-me, we had to stop the tour, - “

Was he kidding? Was he really blaming himself? 

And what was that about the tour? None of the men couldn’t care less about the tour right now. They’d almost completely forgotten about it.

It hurt the others that on top of all the physical and mental pain Roger was already going through, he now also shouldered the whole accident and all the blame.  
The fact that Roger actually wasn’t someone who took the blame even if something was his fault because he was just too stubborn for that, was more painful than expected. It barely happened that the drummer would do such a thing or talk about it, well it almost never happened. If he took the blame for something then he wouldn’t show it or admit it at that matter.

“I didn’t mean for his happen…I didn’t mean for it to get that bad.” Roger started once again, his voice seemed stronger now and filled with grit and even though he still had no idea what was wrong with him, he just felt like he fucked up. The drummer only cared about making things right at the moment.  
“I-I thought it-it would go away eventually.” And with ‘it’, he certainly meant the pain. His friends understood. 

“Honey, stop! What are you talking about? Like Bri said, none of this is your fault.” Freddie felt like interrupting him, he couldn’t listen to Roger accusing himself any longer. It hurt too much and John and Brian were more than thankful for that.  
“We know you didn’t mean for this to happen, dear. Stop worrying. Stop the blaming yourself.” Freddie said, trying to think of something that would make Roger believe what he said. Roger’s head was now turned into his and John’s direction. 

“But…I - ” Roger wanted to start again. He wanted to say that he was sorry for lying and for being so stubborn, too, but he couldn’t get to it.

“There’s no ‘But’, Roger. We don’t care about that. We don’t care about the tour either. All we care about is your wellbeing. We’d stop any concert … any tour for you if that means you are alright.” John suddenly took the turn and Roger closed his mouth again. Thinking about what the bassist just said.

“You need to believe us. We are your best friends, your family. I know you would do the exact same thing for each of us.” Brian added as Roger turned his head back to him, still processing everything his friends were saying.  
“I’ve known you for quite some time now, before QUEEN … before we even started with SMILE, do you really think I wouldn’t care about you, that I’d blame you for something that isn’t even your fault.” He looked at John and Freddie then back at Roger. “And trust me when I’m saying the same applies to Freddie and John.”

There was a break and this time Roger was the one speechless.  
Deep inside he still wanted to protest and to disagree but something stopped him and before he even realized he was trapped by Brian, Freddie, and John who were now trying to hug him all at once. They were waiting for that too long. 

It must have looked awkward because hugging a person who was actually laying down wasn’t that easy, but they couldn’t care less about that now, that’d never stop them. 

“So…” Roger started again, after they all broke the hug and got back into a normal position. 

“What is wrong with me? What happened?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are very appreciated. I hope I managed to write it the way you expected it. If not then I'm really sorry, but I tried to give my best.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy chapter 14!  
> Thanks for still reading.   
> I love you all.♥

John, Freddie, and Brian quickly and with as few words as even possible explained Roger where they were and what had happened, that he broke down on stage all thanks to his appendix as well as the operation he had been going through. 

They weren’t sure if they should also tell Roger about the fact that his heart stopped beating during the operation and that the doctors had to resuscitate him. After all, he only just woke up and that this might have a negative effect on his current state but they also thought that Roger deserved to know. He would find out sooner or later, anyway. If they wouldn’t tell him, the doctor or one of the nurses would. So, they decided to do it themselves rather than leaving it to someone else and a complete stranger.

Like expected Roger was shocked. Maybe it was the fact that he only just had woken up and that he still was in pain as well as still not capable of moving or anything alike, but hearing those words coming from his friends made him feel sick, sicker than he already had been. He almost died.

He stopped the effort to try and talk after hearing this and that for almost half an hour. He just didn’t want to and it was okay.   
Freddie, John, and Brian figured that he would react like that and they felt sorry but then again, they were relieved that it was out, too. That it had been said. Like mentioned it was Roger’s right to know those things. Still, though, it was a lot to take in, so his reaction was totally understandable.

 

“How long was I out?” Finally, the question came from Roger after a long silence.   
The drummer's voice was quieter than it had been before, it almost seemed like he was afraid to ask a question like that and he probably was, the others reckoned.

“Almost a week.” Brian hesitated first but knew his best friend was waiting for an answer, his tone very calm but his expression was full of sympathy, just like the other two.   
They knew that once again this wasn’t something easy to deal with. A week could be a horribly long amount of time and much could happen.

Roger just nodded, sighing loudly while trying to control another wave of pain. He shut his eyes while leaning his head back against the pillow, letting that new information sink in for a while. It was exhausting, his head was already killing him and finding out those things didn’t really help to make it hurt any less.   
It only seemed to get worse with every passing second. It wasn’t only this never-ending headache but his stomach started punishing him more than it had been before, too. 

The medication started to lose its effect. Bloody wonderful.

 

“You alright there, Rog?” John asked after a while, noticing Roger’s heavy and painful breathing. 

“Wha-?!” He quickly opened his eyes when hearing his name. “Yeah…yeah, I’m alright. Just tired.” He answered, looking into three worried faces, not mentioning the pain he felt. Physically and mentally.

There were still a lot of things Roger wanted to tell his friends. A lot of things that made his heart heavy but right now he just wasn’t capable of doing so. No one could blame him, after all, he wasn’t awake for that long yet not to mention that he was still in a bad condition plus coping with all those things that had happened to him at the same time, wasn’t easy either. 

“You should sleep, Darling.” Freddie then suggested instead of pushing him to talk, seeing how the younger man was forcing himself to keep his eyes open.   
“We will be here when you wake up.” He smiled at him, gesturing towards the chairs the nurses had got them.   
Roger followed it.

Did his friends really stay with him the whole time? After everything? After lying? 

His thoughts went from the pain he felt back to the blame and shame. 

He didn’t deserve that, yet here his friends were. 

The drummer thought of something to say and the moment he wanted to vent, telling them that he was alright and that the others could sleep in the Hotel across the street they had told him about, Freddie interrupted the silence, knowing what his friend was thinking about.  
Freddie always seemed to know what his friends were thinking, this was another one of his talents, which could either be annoying or helpful and appreciated. Especially with Roger he seemed to be pretty good at it and it was safe to say that it was the other way around, too. Freddie was calling this the “Twin Thing” even though it didn’t really made sense, but what made sense these days anyway?

“No, we won’t go. We will stay right here, dear. We haven’t left your side for a week and I’ll be damned if you make us leave now.” Freddie said before Roger could even open his mouth, looking over to John and Brian, who both felt the exact same about this. 

“You heard him. No one is going to leave your side, Rog.” Brian helped and John nodded.   
“You need sleep more than any of us and besides, “ Brian looked over to the chairs, one already reserved by Freddie. “- they are quite comfortable to sleep on.” 

This made Roger almost giggle but he was too weak to do so in the end, he gave him a grateful smile instead and squeezed his hand again, which he hadn’t let go of for the whole time, too afraid that this was all a dream and that his friends actually weren’t there or that they would leave any minute. Deep inside he was actually hoping they'd stay but of course, he wouldn't admit it.

So there the drummer was, instead of protesting and saying he would not be worth the effort, which he actually wanted and meant to say, he just brought out a raspy “Thanks.” But with a tone that showed how much this all meant to him. 

He would have time to say those other things he meant to say some time else but now. He was too exhausted. 

“W-will you stay here, though?” Roger unexpectedly asked the guitarist, looking everywhere but into Brian’s eyes, as if he was embarrassed to ask such question and nervous about the answer. But Brian understood, the blonde was meaning for him to stay at the exact same spot he was now; right next to and close to him. It gave him a fuzzy and warm feeling.

Knowing that he wouldn’t get an answer if he kept on looking at something else, the drummer looked back at the man to his left and the smile he was greeted with was a wordless answer that meant “Yes”. Even if he Roger hadn’t asked him, Brian still would have stayed; close to him. 

His head turned to the other two who already made themselves comfortable in their own chairs, smiling at Roger. 

“Goodnight, honey.” Freddie said, blowing him a kiss with a teasing grin. The others chuckled.

“Goodnight, Rog. We missed you and it’s so good to have you back. It was unpleasantly quiet without you.” John said, his smile softer than ever.   
“You know, no bickering and no complaining and stuff.” He finished and Roger almost laughed about it and he would have if his throat and head wouldn’t hurt so much. 

“Thanks, guys. Night.” He finally said, instead of giving one of his cheeky, smart and sarcastic answers.   
He was so thankful for his friends. How in God’s name should he ever be able to tell and show them how much this all meant to him?

He turned his head back again, looking at the ceiling; squeezing Brian’s hand once more, making sure he was still there and smiling softly when finding out he indeed was before his eyes fell shut and he was back in the darkness again. 

And not soon after the other three men fell asleep, this time without worrying about the fact that they might never see Roger’s blue eyes ever again.  
After all, it was late and if they wouldn’t know better, they felt just as exhausted as Roger.

~~~~

It was around 4 am when Brian suddenly woke up by someone screaming his name. And this someone soon turned out to be Roger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hoped you liked this chapter.   
> Please let me know in the comments!  
> Have a great day and stay safe!♥


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Already back with chapter 15!  
> WARNING: Please don't read if you are not comfortable with the case 'seizure' chapter 16 will be better though.  
> Hope you all still going to enjoy it!♥

The next time Roger opened his eyes again there was silence and he once again he was alone; all by himself, no one there except him. The drummer looked around only to find himself in a white room with walls so bright white that they managed to even blind the man and made him shut his eyes for a moment.

Where was he? Where was John? Didn’t John say that he was glad to have him back?!

And what about Freddie? He was sure the lead singer ensured him that neither of them would leave him and what did they do?

And Brian? The guitarist was with him, wasn’t he? He was holding his hand and he had agreed to stay close to him, hadn’t he?  
He looked down at his left hand only to find that Brian’s hand wasn’t where he thought he had seen and felt it last.

Did they realize what he did and left? But they promised not to leave, didn’t they? But where were they then? They must have left him. 

Roger wouldn’t blame them if they actually did but it still hurt; not to mention that he absolutely hated to be alone. 

The room he found himself in was not just white but also empty. It didn’t have windows and not even a door. Roger could feel his heart beating faster and faster, panic rising in him as he tried to move and to scream for help; for his friends but he couldn’t, even though he managed to open his mouth, no tone would come out. He was mute and his body bedridden. 

This was wrong. What was happening? He was sure that he had spoken to his friends just minutes ago. Or did he just imagine that? It would make sense; why would Freddie, John, and Brian stay with him after everything?  
He still didn’t understand how they managed to play in a band with him for so long now, especially Brian who had known him even before QUEEN. 

Freddie had a point when he said that he must have been high to agree to play in the same band as him when he locked himself up in the cupboard just so his song would make it on the B-side.  
It was ridiculous but he couldn’t help it.  
What the others didn’t seem to know though, was that he actually put a lot of work into that song, just like he always did, but they still never seem to be good enough.  
He just wanted to have at least one of his songs on the record. One and no more so that he wouldn’t feel completely useless for change when it comes to writing songs and actually helping the band out and not letting the writing of all the hits to Freddie, John, and Brian.  
Don’t get him wrong he adored and admired their work but at times he was a bit jealous of their talent. It stands to reason that Roger wouldn’t admit that either. He just let out his jealousy, frustration and sometimes sadness by behaving like a stubborn little boy who would even lock himself up into a cupboard if there was no other way. 

Why was he like that? 

Though, little did Roger know that it wasn’t true, that the others also admired his work and that Brian, Freddie, and John loved him for just that, for being him. They wouldn’t want their drummer to be any different, even if they sometimes were on the edge of killing him.  
Though let's be honest the whole band was just a bunch of Drama Queens, each and everyone in their own way. That was what made QUEEN. 

 

However, right know Roger desired nothing more than to be able to move, to speak and to have his friends by his side. It didn’t even matter to him where he was as long as they were with him.

But instead, he was shut-in, full of panic and fear as the room began to get hotter and hotter, his white hospital clothing soaking wet from sweating like crazy. He shut his eyes, hoping this would take an end but it wasn’t helping in the slightest. 

Suddenly he heard voices and he opened his eyes full of hope. And it was then that he actually managed to let out a shrill scream. 

Instead of being surrounded by only white, like before, now one side of the room there seemed to be a glass wall and behind it, he could see them. His friends. 

Roger desperately tried to make himself noticeable so the three men would recognize him but everything Roger was trying to do, didn’t work out. The blonde could hear and see them, however, they couldn’t here and see Roger. Or could they but were just ignoring him? Or was he just making up those things again? 

Like wild Roger was screaming their names as his breathing was frantic. But the others just couldn’t hear him. Desperation and anger were swelling up in him and tears were leaving his eyes as he decided that it was useless to keep on trying. He shouldn’t give up and he knew that but he was too exhausted; too weak. So, he surrendered and shut his mouth, noticing a strange taste, his body hurt and every single muscle was tense, but somehow, he didn’t care about that anymore.

That was it, he thought. 

~~~  
Brian got ripped out of his dreams when hearing someone screaming his name and then suddenly, there was silence. No other words followed. 

The next thing he noticed was that the hand that belonged to Roger and which he was holding tight as he was falling asleep just a couple of hours ago, wasn’t where he had last seen and felt it. 

What he saw instead made him stay still in shock. 

Roger, who had been sleeping softly before the guitarist himself had fallen asleep, had his eyes wide open now, looking shocked and their movements were sudden and rapid. Soon after the drummer’s body seemed to start having uncontrollable muscle spasms, which got worse with every second and God knows, Roger wasn’t in the state to talk at all. Not anymore, though.

Brian wasn’t stupid, he knew what was happening to the man in front of him, though he refused to believe it. He wouldn’t want to believe it. Roger had been okay two hours ago now he was lying in front of him, clenching his teeth and biting his tongue. 

This wasn’t fair, will this never take an end?! The drummer went through so much already. This shouldn’t be happening. He didn’t deserve that.

Brian was still perplexed but he knew that sitting here next to the poor and vulnerable body of his best friend in shock wouldn’t help. He knew he had to do something.  
The first thing that came to his mind was calling for and waking his two friends on the other side of the room, who was surprisingly still sleeping. After he did so, he turned back to Roger and what he saw then made him almost collapse on the floor. 

The uncontrollable jerking movements of his arms and legs had gotten worse and if Brian wouldn’t have been there to put his two hands on each of Rogers' shoulders in time, he would have fallen out of the bed, without a doubt. His eyes were white now about to roll up into his head; loss of consciousness and awareness. He was frothing at the mouth, too. 

Now Brian was sure; his drummer was suffering from a seizure. 

He knew what caused such a thing, he briefly learned about it in school and he even remembered Roger telling him about it when he was still studying biology; a seizure wasn’t uncommon after surgery. The guitarist recalled him saying that it was a sudden and uncontrolled electrical disturbance in the brain or something like that. Knowing this didn’t really made things any better, though.

As soon as Freddie and John heard Brian screaming their names, they knew something was wrong, absolutely wrong. They could hear it in his voice.

They ran over to the bed, where Brian who already tried to think of something to help, wanting to make themselves useful, too.

John was just as shocked to see Roger like that and he desperately called out his name before tears were leaving his eyes.  
He couldn’t think straight. This wasn’t fair. Why was this happening? Why Roger? Why his best friend? 

He wanted to sink down on his knees but he knew that wouldn’t help either, something had to be done. John wouldn’t let anything bad happen to his best friend. His family. Roger and he always shared the same interests in things and they got along so well, even though Roger was more of an extrovert and John more of an introvert. They were like brothers and he would never let something bad happen to his brother. That the bassist promised himself.

The only one who seemed to still be able to remotely think clear was Freddie. Thankfully.  
He didn’t waste another minute and immediately ran out of the room after seeing what was happening to the blonde, to call for a nurse or a doctor. For someone who would actually know what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY. PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!  
> Next chapter is going to better I think! But just know. This is a happy ending fic!!
> 
> I love you all!♥


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry that I kept you waiting!   
> Here's chapter 16, please enjoy!   
> I promise chapter 17 will get better!!  
> Thanks for still reading and sticking with me!♥

Since it was 4 am in the morning on a Saturday, there was not even a single person in the waiting room which Freddie was passing quickly to get to the front desk to ask for a nurse or doctor; for anyone who could help them; who could help his friend. 

Freddie was just as scared as the other two men and his heart was about to jump out of his chest. He really thought he had seen it all; he really thought they had gotten through the worst, that there couldn’t be anything worse than seeing one of his best friends breaking down and so weak in front of him, but what he had seen only seconds ago was hard to top. 

Fred would be lying if he would say that this didn’t freak him out because it most definitely did.   
He had never seen something just like this before, only heard about it, never spent a thought on his best friend might end up suffering from it. 

This made him feel sick and he just wanted to throw up and hide somewhere and wait until everything is over, but the fact that this wouldn’t help Roger at all and that they indeed needed help; that Roger needed help kept him going. 

 

So, as he was running through the empty floor as fast as he could, screaming for help, it surprisingly didn’t even take a minute as two nurses were rushing over to him, asking what exactly was wrong.   
The lead singer tried to explain but he was still out of breath and in shock, still processing himself what was happening, so he gestured to follow him.   
And that’s what the nurses did. 

 

Meanwhile, Brian and John were still struggling to come up with something to help the drummer.   
But was there something they could do anyway? He was still shaking uncontrollably not to mention that his breathing was unsteady, still frothing at the mouth. 

This was by far one of the scariest moments of their entire life and they just wanted it to stop. 

Thankfully, it didn’t take Freddie too long to come back. As soon as the two nurses, who were quickly following him, realized what was happening to the blonde, one of them called for the doctor responsible for Roger as the other one ordered Freddie, Brian and John to take a step back so they could do what was necessary.   
Neither of the men wanted to leave their friend’s side; not again. They just got him back and now they were supposed to leave him again. This wasn’t right.

After a second exhortation the boys, however, knew that there was nothing they could so they gave in and left his friends side.

The rest happened quite quickly. The Doctor soon after arrived and made the boys leave the room completely, telling them to wait for him outside. 

With heavy hearts, they did what they had been told. They had no other choice, anyway, hadn’t they? 

 

~~~~

“I fucking hate this place,” Freddie exclaimed, his heart still racing, as they entered the waiting room once again. The others remained in silence but thought the exact same thing. 

They had spent way too much time in here and everyone hated it like nothing else. They hated the smell, they hated the way it looked, the way it gave them this feeling of restlessness, of unease and fear; the feeling of not knowing if they will ever see Roger alive and healthy again; a hatred that will never fade. 

However, now they had no other option but to stay right where they were and to wait for Roger; yet again, comforting each other as good as possible, though no one seemed to have enough energy to actually succeed at it.

To their surprise, though it didn’t take long until one of the nurses made her way back to the boys. Or maybe it did take long but they just weren’t able to realize the passing of the time anymore. All three of them felt like they were starting to lose their sense of time in the hospital. The half an hour they were waiting for someone to come and tell them Roger was alright, could feel like the longest half an hour they have ever experienced in their whole life, with tension and fear building up in them, but this half an hour could also be nothing compared to how long they had waited for Roger to make it through the operation and to wake up in the first place and that took about a week. And this again felt like forever to the three men.

 

The nurse explained what exactly had happened, not that the three friends didn’t know already; that Roger was alright, but obviously weak and therefore sleeping now but also that his fever had risen again and that he was under heavy medications; anew. 

On the one hand yet again, it felt like a heavy burden was taken from their shoulders but on the other hand, it also felt like right after this heavy burden was taken away, they had to shoulder another and heavier one.

Of course, they were glad that the doctors managed to stop Roger’s fit in time, there was no doubt about that but the fact that he was feeling worse again kept them from sighing out in relief. 

Well, at least there were allowed to see him.

 

And so, not even three minutes after the nurse informed them, Brian, John and Freddie were about to enter the drummer’s room. It was like a deja-vu, one they were actually hoping to never experience ever again, yet here they were. Looking down and the drummer’s weak body, looking more vulnerable than ever. 

He was so slim, too slim for their liking as if he was about to break any minute just by laying there and sleeping. It seemed like his arms, which were usually so strong from drumming, were sticks itself now.   
His face so thin; if they didn’t know better, they all would have said that he looked starved.   
That wasn’t like Roger at all. God knows, that man could eat. They were sometimes surprised as to where he’d put it all.   
As well as his cheeks, which always were soft, round and full, especially when he was smiling or laughing, but not now though; it all seemed to have disappeared. Just like the bit of color, they had seen in his face just a few hours ago, but also this was completely gone by now and he looked more like a ghost. 

It ripped the three men’ hearts into pieces.

 

Feeling almost nothing anymore and without any further words, the boys made their ways to each of their chairs that were, except for Brian’s, still standing in the same spot they had left it before leaving the room earlier and tried to make themselves comfortable. 

John and Freddie were yawning almost in sync and then buried their faces in their hands, while Brian put his chair right back next to Roger, just like before as he took his small hand into his. This time though, it was surprisingly warm; not as cold as it had been after the operation. Well, that was at least something.

And it was only then that they started to realize just how tired and exhausted they actually were themselves. 

God, they hated the fact that they couldn’t do anything to help him, nothing at all. The only thing they could do was not losing faith; not losing hope. That was the least they could do for him, anyway.

At least they could be with their friend right now, who was thankful, breathing steadily again and sleeping softly.   
At least he was calm, hopefully dreaming of something better than he had before.   
Brian, John, and Fred could only hope.   
And so, with each of their minds somewhere else and filled with a hundred million thoughts and questions they managed to close their eyes and to rest for a bit.

~~~

They woke up to the sound of the TV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was that. I hoped you enjoyed it.   
> The next chapter won't be as sad, I promise.  
> Stay safe, love you all!!♥


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might be a bit angsty in the beginning but it's getting better!♥  
> Enjoy!

Freddie had no idea what time it was as he slowly came back to sense, what he knew though was that he was still half asleep and that someone had woken him up by saying his name. The thing was, that it was neither John next to him nor Brian and or Roger from across the room. 

At first, he thought that he might have just imagined it; that he might have dreamt something that had to do with him hearing his name, but as he heard it a second time, he was sure that it couldn’t be his imagination nor a dream, plus he was quite sure that the voice must be coming from a female person.

He slowly opened his eyes, adjusting his sight to the brightness that was coming from the ceiling lamp in the room, which could only mean that someone was there and awake, otherwise the lights would still be switched off; because that’s what he did before they all had gone to sleep.

He took a look at John first who still seemed to be asleep, softly but kind of looking exhausted at the same time. Freddie almost felt sorry for John at that point, he wished to have been there for him a bit more, after all, he was the youngest and Freddie always kind of felt responsible for him but this was also hard for him.  
Though, he couldn’t and wouldn’t blame him. All of them have had a long and tiring night, including Roger and they all looked exhausted.  
One thing was clear, once this was all over, they definitely deserved a long break.

 

The lead singer sighed before sitting up in the chair he had laid in so uncomfortably before, only to find Roger wide awake, with his back leaning against one of his pillows to sit upright and more comfortable, the TV remote in one hand, the other still laying in Brian’s bigger hand next to him. 

Fred couldn’t believe what he saw at first and had to blink a couple of times to make sure that their drummer, who had almost died a week ago and had a bloody seizure just hours ago, was really watching the news; somewhere in a Hospital in Tokyo.  
Don’t get him wrong, he was happy to see Roger awake, but it also kind of was too good to be true so that he was almost afraid that this actually was all a dream after all. 

Fred didn’t say anything, instead, his eyes moved over to Brain’s sleeping form next to the blonde’s bed. The guitarist’s mouth was slighting opened and just like Deacy, he was still sleeping softly but also exhaustion was written all over his face and like mentioned, the older man was still holding Roger’s hand in his and the drummer seemed to not want to move it or let go of it any time soon. 

Freddie smiled softly looking at the two men in front of him before coughing slightly to make himself noticeable. 

No reaction came from the blonde man, he was too focused on the TV in front of him.

Freddie tried to get his attention a second time, though just like the first time Roger didn’t seem to notice. 

What could be so important that he couldn’t take his eyes from the screen in front of him?  
What kind of news could possibly be able to catch his attention after everything that had happened to him? Nothing could be more important than that, could it?

He quickly decided to take a look for himself only to see a picture of himself and his bandmates before the camera was back on a woman who only could be the news reporter.

Well, at least the mystery as to why he had heard his name a couple of times coming from a woman in particular while waking up, was solved.

He was still surprised though that the news was in English instead of in Japanese but he could speculate about that another time.  
However, now the pianist just wanted to know how the band made it into the news.

And it didn’t take Fred too long to get an answer, just by listening to what was said in that particular report Roger was so focused on.

Damn it, there was a reason why they avoided the TV; why they never turned it on, except for that one time. 

Fred hoped Roger wasn’t watching for too long; hoping that nothing of the rumors that spread all over the news as well as the magazines and newspapers had gotten to Roger yet. Though, deep inside he knew already that it wasn’t the case; that he wouldn’t be that lucky. 

 

“Don’t listen to that, Darling.” Freddie finally said and Roger jumped a bit and quickly turned his head into his direction.

“That’s complete and utter bullshit. We all know that.” He added, walking over to the TV now, not hesitating on switching it off. He knew what influence news like that could have on the person affected, even if it wasn’t true. 

“Fred, I …” Roger started, his blue and tired eyes meeting his.  
“D-did you hear what they say about me? Did you -“ Roger started but the singer cut him off, taking the remote control out of his hands. 

“Roger darling, those are just desperate cowards, searching for stories to sell to get money,” Fred said, walking over to him now, smiling at him in sympathy while stroking away a strand of his blonde hair.  
“You shouldn’t give a rat’s ass on what they are saying, we know the truth, dear.”

Freddie felt anger rising up in him again; anger for those idiots of reporters who were selling wrong stories about their drummer; who were saying that alcohol and drugs were the reason for Roger’s break down on stage; that because of the oh so ‘selfish Roger Taylor’, - so it was described in the report Freddie was watching a couple of days ago before turning it off -, QUEEN had to stop the tour and with that disappointed hundreds of fans. 

Fred knew that the blond was already filled with guilt about the fact that he disappointed his friends and that he blamed himself, but now he also found out that he disappointed his fans, too; thousands of people.  
That was the last thing the drummer wanted, obviously. After all, he ignored the pain he felt a week ago on stage just because he didn’t want to disappointed any of his fans as well as his friends.

Roger opened his mouth again to answer, but before he could actually say a word, he heard John’s voice coming from behind Freddie. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his voice alarmed, thinking something bad was happening to his friend once again as his almost jumped off his chair, his eyes only half open because of the brightness he was confronted with.  
“Rog! Are you alright, mate?” He continued, his voice a bit calmer as he realized that, according to the circumstances, Roger seemed to be okay. 

Roger couldn’t help but weakly smile at that and just as he wanted to ensure Deacy that he was surprisingly feeling better, Brian was the one cutting him off this time. 

Just like the bassist he almost jumped out of his chair and on his feet although he was already right next to the drummer. Though, he sat down quickly as dizziness took over from waking up and moving so promptly.

“Roger! Are you okay? How are you feeling?” He breathed out, rubbing his eyes now. 

Roger’s smile that was on his face before turned into a bigger one. 

 

Freddie was relieved to see that smile in his face as well as about the fact that Brian and John woke up in the perfect time. He hoped it would keep Roger from thinking about what he just had seen and heard in the news and what they had talked about.

 

“I’m fine, guys. Surprisingly.” His weak but soft and genuine smile not leaving his face as he actually managed to chuckle.  
“I spoke to Jim, who is getting us tea by the way, as well as one of the nurses. They explained everything.” The drummer continued, his voice still raspier than usually.  
“I’m sorry for scaring you once again and keeping you awake almost the whole night.” He continued, the smile, thankfully, still not leaving only getting softer and more compassionate.

“Don’t apologize for that. We are just happy to see you awake again.” John quickly answered, giving him a pat on his shoulder.  
“Don’t do that again, you hear!” He joked in a demanding tone.

“We are indeed, Rog and don’t be sorry. Just please, please promise us that this is it for now.” Brian added as they all chuckled. Roger just nodded as he took Brian’s hand again.  
“Plus, I really can’t stand the seats in the waiting room anymore.” The guitarist commented.

“They are both right, Darling. Let’s just stop giving us heart attacks. I told you, I’m still too young for grey hair. Doesn’t really go well with my stage outfits.” Freddie said while posing dramatically.

“And besides who needs sleep anyway?” John quickly interfered before Roger could say anything and this all made them actually laugh this time, even Roger. 

The blond wanted to comment on that but he couldn’t bring himself to. He also wanted to say something about the conversation he and Freddie had started earlier as well as about what he actually experienced before and during the seizure but he thought that this could wait. 

For now, he was just happy to be surrounded by the people he loved the most.  
His friends.  
His family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this!  
> I can't believe that this is chapter 17 already.  
> Anyway, please leave a comment, that's very appreciated. 
> 
> Stay safe, yall. Love you all!♥


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas to those who are celebrating it today, for those who do not happy Holidays!♥  
> I hope , one of you will have a wonderful time!  
> Please enjoy chapter 18 Y'all!

The boys spent another full week in the hospital after that, with Roger’s state of health improving each day more and more. He was slowly but surely getting his strength back, he even managed to eat properly, even though it wasn’t as much as he was actually used to be eating but it didn’t matter as long as he gained back the weight that he had lost in the past days. 

They even got told that it was safe for him to leave back to England soon; that it was safe for Roger to travel that amount of distance, though only if he was accompanied by someone who had a good medical knowledge or even a degree at that matter and only if right after he would see a doctor in the UK who could give their okay as well. In the end, everything that had happened to the man didn’t stand to any nonsense.   
But no doubt about that the boys would also manage that, they had each other and that was everything that counted.

Notwithstanding, it was like a miracle, too good to be true so that they sometimes even worried about the fact that this really might be just a dream in the end; one they were afraid to wake up from. But even if this would have been the case, the four friends would enjoy it as long as only possible. 

All of that was also the reason that at times Brian, Freddie, and John handled their drummer with kid gloves, which he obviously didn’t really approve of all the time. Of course, he appreciated it more than anything and was happy that they haven’t left his side; that they were still with him and helping him to get better; he knew without them he would be lost, yet he couldn’t stop thinking that he wasn’t worth all the fuss; not worth the troubles he brought upon them, that he actually should be the one who should make it up to them instead the other way around, even though his friend said that there was nothing he should blame himself or to be sorry for whatsoever.

This leads us to the fact that despite all the improvements the blond still had a mind filled with guilt and blame. It was eating on him and the boys could tell. 

But as hitherto the three friends tried their best to free Roger's brain from those thoughts. They almost had this discussion more than two times a day. It was tiring for all of them including Roger. They didn’t blame the drummer though, they knew it was hard plus the media didn’t make it easier, for either of them. 

But well, that was one downside of being a rock band and therefore to be in the public eyes. Rumors were famous for spreading like fire and it was always hard to set them right and to let the truth win. It’s sad that the majority always seemed to believe the bad in people and the lies and never the actual trueness. 

The fact that no one had actually seen any of the QUEEN members for about two weeks now and that none of them had given any statement about their drummer’s current state and the unverified stories that were going around, was a pain in the ass too; not easy at all.  
Tough, Miami had actually written a statement for the press but it wasn’t penetrating yet, at least it seemed so. They couldn’t really tell since there were still stubbornly avoiding any form of media, for Roger’s sake. 

~~~

“Once we are back home and you are feeling better, we’ll make sure the truth comes to the open, Darling,” Freddie said after looking from John to his left over to Brian and then to Roger to his right, making the drummer to be the one walking between him and the guitarist. 

They were currently out for a walk in the garden of the hospital, which all of them absolutely adored. The fresh air he was able to breathe and the sunlight that was shining right into his face after not seeing it for days did wonders to Roger; it helped him to fight the paleness that was his face, it was strengthening his muscles and helped him to get his mind off things but most of all it was just good to let his thoughts wander around, to appreciate the fact that he was still alive.

“I agree with Fred,” John said nodding in agreement, slightly bending over to be able to look at Roger.   
“The three of us can also do it right after we get back to London. Alone I mean, if you want it to be done sooner.” He continued, knowing Roger wouldn’t agree with what he had just suggested, but it was worth trying, anyway. 

Deacy just wanted to make sure that Roger wouldn’t make a dash on the public if he still wasn’t feeling his best.   
Brian and Freddie actually agreed on that and thought that this was indeed a good idea; a good option but they also knew that Roger would protest and disagree.   
They meant well and the blond knew that but he didn’t want them to stand up for something that was mainly his doing; his fault. 

“No Deacs. If I’m not showing up to the press conference there is no chance that they are going believe us. I am definitely not letting you go without me.” He answered without hesitation as if he knew that those words would reach his ears sooner or later. 

John just nodded, not even surprised by his answer with a ‘It was just an idea’ expression on his face.   
And so did the others. Though, all three of them had to give him his due, Roger actually had a point there. It would be hard to convince the press of the truth and if the one all the hype and fuss was about wouldn’t show up, it would make it even harder and more difficult for them to make the reporters and everyone else believe it.

“And besides I need to apologize to our fans as well.” He quickly added, determination filled his voice.  
“I can hardly do that from home, can I? Hence I have to be there anyway.” The drummer looked back at the bassist, his face serious first before it changed into an appreciating smile to reassure him that he knew that John meant well but that this wouldn’t be an option for him. Not at all.   
He didn’t take any offense.

“Oh Rog,” Brian said as he started to chuckle at that before slowly shaking his head and not too long after that John and Fred did the same.

God help them, that man was stubborn; so thick-headed even now in his still weak state they didn’t manage to convince him. It didn’t matter what it was, they probably would never be able to.

 

“What?!” Roger asked, turning his head to meet Brian’s eyes, almost looking a bit offended now.

“Nothing.” Brian simply said, teasingly though, looking back at him before wrapping his left arm around his shoulder to pull him closer.   
The all began to laugh as Freddie did the same with his left arm around John’s shoulder and his right around Roger’s so that they were all walking very closely next to each other.

It took the blonde a bit to understand completely what exactly they were laughing about before he stretched out both of his arms and placed them around Briand and Freddie as well to join into that “walking hug” or whatever that was what they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see it's a little less angsty than the previous chapters.   
> Roger finally starts to believe his friends and to blame himself less and less!  
> I really hope you liked it!  
> Stay safe during the holidays, love you all! I will soon be back with chapter 19.♥


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have chapter 19! Enjoy!  
> Thank you for still reading it! ♥

Finally, the day of Roger’s hospital discharge was there. Finally, after almost spending a month in Hospital; after being through so many ups and downs; after countless sleepless and fearful nights; after shedding hundred of tears the day had yet arrived.

Finally, the four men, accompanied by Miami, could leave the hospital that was their not-desired home for a few weeks; here in Tokyo, in Japan which was so many kilometers away from home and by now, they almost knew every nurse’s and every doctor’s name that was working there.

There weren’t any major complications after Roger’s seizure anymore, apart from a high fever and waves of nausea and vomiting due to the fact that his immune system still happened to be in a weak state, which also was a reason why they had to extend their stay a bit longer. 

If it would have been up to Roger he definitely would have left right after his seizure about two weeks ago, but obviously, that was impossible, not to mention that no one would have approved of and allowed it anyway. He was still too weak, even now he was. Even now as the doctors gave their permission; their 'okay' to let him go and to travel the long distance back home; back to England. However, though it wasn’t all bad, he managed to get back the color that had left his face and to gain back the weight he had lost, too, maybe even more since he didn' really move much.

Everyone was relieved, happy and grateful and couldn’t wait to get back home; back into their own full four walls. Well, they were still sharing a flat so it wasn’t really their ‘own full four wall’, but still.  
It had been way too long just like the fact that for too long Freddie, Brian and John hadn’t even known if they would ever return home with Roger. Anything could have happened and for sure having to return without him would have been the worst. 

The truth was that when there was no knowledge whatsoever about Roger making it or not, the three friends often thought about how it would have been if they got back home without their drummer. They didn’t want to; they didn’t mean to think about something as awful as that but given the circumstances, they found themselves in as Roger’s condition was at its worst and didn’t seem to get any better, they couldn’t stop those horrifying thoughts that managed to fill their minds.  
Of course, none of them actually said anything about it in order to not frighten each other more than they already were but deep inside the men knew they were all thinking the same; coming back into their flat without a member of their family? What could be worse? 

Probably nobody wished and wanted to live there anymore if this would have been the case. That was for bloody sure.  
Their flat held so many memories, bad ones too, like arguments, hissy fits, and shattered cups and glasses during and after band meetings and discussions, after all, life wasn’t all beer and skittles, but mainly good ones.  
Good ones like alcohol-fuelled Christmas Eves and birthday parties, then celebrating the first proper hit they had with 'Killer Queen', the night they found out Bohemian Rhapsody made it to the top of the charts (- after they got stuck in an elevator they managed to stop themselves by jumping up and down because they couldn’t hold back their happiness-) but also simple things like waking up in the morning to the scent of baked beans and mushrooms, eggs and toast not to forget coffee and tea and knowing either John or Brian had made breakfast for all of them; no one actually minding the fact that it was vegetarian, (-because lets be honest Roger and Freddie always tried to sleep in on freed days-) as well as calm evenings they shared while cuddling up and watching movies together or playing scrabble, full of laughter they were. Always.

These and more were what made their home, despite the fact that it was a rather small flat and really not the best, but it was always full of live, full of happiness and love. That was what counted and it would never be the same without Roger, they would never be able to live there without him. 

 

However, now that he was better these thoughts were shoved aside and new concerns were forming itself in Brian’s, Freddie’s and John’s mind. Yes right; the actual flight back home.  
Roger tried not to think too much about it but just like the others and just like they have been told by the doctors, flying post-surgery could bring risks with it, especially after an operation in the abdominal area.  
They got told of what to be mindful of. That it wasn’t an easy business and that on no account they should take it lightly. Nausea could return and breathing could get harder et cetera, et cetera. This was also the reason why they should be attended by someone with good medical knowledge, just in case. Of course, it didn’t mean that it was definitely going to eventuate but it was always better to be precautious and so the others agreed. Although the blonde slowly became sick of being watched 24/7, he as well agreed eventually. But let’s face it, it wasn’t like he had a choice anyway.

Thanks to Miami, who seemed to had taken over the role of the band’s mum, they already got someone who would accompany them all during their flight back to London. Now the only thing they all had to worry about, - and especially Roger looked like the one who was worried the most-, was the way to get to the airport, onto the plane as well as get off the plane without getting noticed by others; mainly reporters. Reporters who would make up crap once again to make their lies more enjoyable for newspapers and other media.

Not even a single QUEEN member was seen for three to four weeks; what would they think if they suddenly show up again, just like that? What would they think about the fact that they had actually been in Tokyo the whole time?

Roger knew he shouldn’t worry too much about what others would think, he shouldn’t give a damn but he couldn’t help it. No one except his friends knew that the drummer sometimes gave too much on what others would think and say about ‘The Roger Taylor, the Drummer of Queen’. That’s why he always acted the way he did when he was in public; pretending, not wanting them to see that he in fact cared about what was said. 

But well, there was nothing they could do about the current situation now, anyway. The had to go back to the UK somehow, rather sooner than later.

 

So, after a couple of more checks on Roger, they found themselves in the long and empty hallway of the hospital at 1 am on a Tuesday. They chose a night flight, hoping it would draw less attention on them but neither of them actually thought that this could work. In addition, they all tried to dress up casually to look as unsusceptible as only possible but also in that case there were almost certain that this probably was for nothing, too.

 

They were currently waiting for Miami to fill out some more paper so they could finally make their way to the airport where they would meet an old friend of Miami’s who happened to be a doctor and who would be the one to look out for Roger in case something would happen.

As everything was done and after the boys said their goodbyes to the nurses and the doctors, thanking them, they made their way outside to a taxi that was already waiting for them. Neither of them hesitated to get in and away from this place they would always associate with fear, pain, anger and almost loss and every other emotion they experienced.

It was unpleasantly quiet as the taxi left the driveway and into the direction to the airport. 

No one said anything, not even Freddie.  
One thing they all did though was taking one more look at the building before it would disappear between the others; deep inside hoping that they would never ever see it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are finally leaving!!  
> Please please let me know what you think and if you think it is getting too long. I need to know!  
> Also, this is the end of part one of my fanfiction Friends Will Be Friends. I thought them leaving Japan is a good way to end this part.  
> I am currently thinking of writing a second part which would take place with them being back in England and dealing with the aftermath of the Boys disappearing in Japan.  
> ( Roger's health, the guilt, and the press)  
> Please let me know what you think about it! 
> 
> I hope you all have nice holidays and enjoy them!

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to text me personally, have requests (I'm doing ships as well) or just are searching for a QUEEN content blog follow me on Tumblr @roger-drummer-taylor or/and my main @nerd-dowell.


End file.
